“How?”
He smiled. “I already like you, you’re funny, sweet, caring and sexy.”
“You think I’m sexy?”
The smile widened. “I do.”
She wasn’t sure why that mattered, but it seemed to be important to her. Alex thought she was sexy. Huh.
She looked at him and tried to figure out how she felt about him. She could repeat back all the things he’d said about her. Plus, he was a great dad. She liked being with him. But did she find him sexy?
She thought about the kiss and how she’d been imagining them doing so much more. Which meant it was possible she did.
“I’ll admit it was a hot kiss, but what about what we have? I don’t want to lose that. What if everything changes?”
“It’s going to change when you move,” he said, his voice gentle. “Actually it was when you started talking about moving that I thought it might be safe to ask the question. It gives us an endpoint to what we’d be doing.”
“You think I’m moving? How can you? I don’t know what I’m going to do and currently I’m not sure I trust myself to make any important decisions. I’m still processing the fact that I was waiting for Dustin to propose when it turns out I didn’t even want to marry him.”
Leaving? How could she leave Alex and Noah? Her sister and the kids? Her friends, her job.
“I can’t go,” she said and covered her face with her hands. “I’m stuck here, not having what I want. I can’t walk away. There’s too much I’d be leaving behind.”
“Hey, stop. You’re not walking away. You’re being brave and finding what makes you happy. You deserve that, Ryleigh. You deserve all of it.”
She looked at him. “Wouldn’t you miss me?”
“Sure. I don’t like the idea of you not being a phone call away, but this isn’t about me. I know what it’s like to love with my whole heart. I want you to find that, too. I also know how determined you can be. You’re not going to stay stuck.”
He really thought she was leaving. He believed in her when she was having trouble believing in herself.
Without thinking, she stood and walked toward him. He stood, too, then pulled her against him. They hung on to each other with an intensity that made her feel both safe and a little sad. Because if he was right about her, she would be walking away from this man and not looking back.
Oh, sure, there would be phone calls and visits, but it wouldn’t be the same. It wouldn’t be like it was now.
A fierce longing filled her, making her want to stay exactly where she was and not consider moving. But even as the thought formed, a voice in her head whispered that she would regret making the easy choice. That being Alex’s friend was wonderful but what happened when he was done mourning and ready to fall in love? Then he would find someone and where would she be? She needed to get on with her life—to think about her future. And if that meant moving, then her time in Port Palmas was limited.
She looked up at him. “Let’s try it one time and see how it goes,” she said. “Then we can decide how we want to move forward.”
His eyes brightened with amusement. “You’re suggesting a test-drive. I’m feeling a little pressure.”
She laughed. “I won’t judge.”
“Oh, you’ll judge, but you won’t tell me if it’s bad.”
She thought about the kiss they’d shared. “I don’t think it’s going to be bad.”
“Then let’s set a date right now. I’ll arrange for Noah to be with a friend and I’ll bring the condoms.”
Jax had to admit she was feeling pretty good. The construction was moving along and in a matter of a couple of weeks or so, the diaries would be returned to their spots. Her kids were happy and healthy, her business was thriving. Yes, there was the whole Harris-Shawna debacle, but that was not her rock. Plus she’d been on a very excellent first date with a man she really liked and the kissing had been spectacular. All in all, she was living her best life.
Her good mood lasted right up until Cheryl pulled her into her office, her expression concerned.
“We have to talk.”
Jax wanted to protest that they really didn’t, but knew that wasn’t the right thing to do. She held in a sigh, then closed the door and faced her employee.
“I’m listening.”
