Ryleigh smiled. “When I have my meeting with the weather gods later this week, I’ll be sure to bring up your request.”
“Thank you.”
Jax was pleased their relationship had returned to its normal calm, friendly place. She didn’t like fighting with Ryleigh—it wasn’t anything they’d ever done very much. She knew she hadn’t been very supportive before and was determined to make sure she was going forward.
The barista brought over their order. Jax thanked her, then said, “So what’s new with you?”
Ryleigh shrugged. “Not much. As we get closer to the end of the school year, the kids get more wild, but it’s kind of fun to see how excited they are. I’ve learned not to take it personally.”
“Meaning they are happy about vacation time and not relieved to be done with you?”
“Exactly. Oh, Alex, Noah and I are going away for Memorial Day weekend.”
Jax nearly choked on her latte. “Way to bury the lead,” she said, stunned at the news. “I’m in shock. You and Alex? But it’s only been a few weeks since you and Dustin broke up. Which actually never happened, by the way. You turned down his proposal and he disappeared. You probably need closure.”
Ryleigh stared at her. “What are you talking about? There’s no me and Alex. We’re friends. He found an Airbnb with three bedrooms right near Balboa Park. Don’t read anything into it.”
Jax was about to point out her sister had ignored the entire “closure” part of what she’d said when her brain zeroed in on two words. Balboa Park.
“You’re going to San Diego?”
Ryleigh avoided her gaze. “Just for the long weekend.”
“You’re going to San Diego?”
“It’s no big deal.”
No, that wasn’t true. It was a huge deal. The biggest of deals. “Just the other day you were talking about moving there so going to visit means you’re still thinking about it.” Her heart ached at the thought. “This is about you moving.”
“It’s not about anything,” Ryleigh told her.
“I don’t believe you.”
Her sister sighed. “I need to go look at the town. I just do. I don’t expect you to understand.”
“Or like it.”
Ryleigh ignored that. “I’m confused about a lot of things. You’re right—Dustin and I haven’t talked and we probably should. Closure would be good. But it’s more than that. I don’t miss him. Should I miss him? We were together over a year. And when I think that, I wonder why I wanted to date him inthe first place. I wonder if part of it was Kim being so sick. She introduced us, then got worse and died.”
Jax frowned. “So you dated Dustin because it was what Kim wanted?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. I wonder if us getting together is tied up in her death somehow. Like we thought we were closer than we were because of a shared grief.” She sighed. “I’m still trying to come up with a theory. My actual point is I don’t get why I was so focused on marrying him. The only thing I’ve come up with is that I want more in my life than I have. I saw marrying him as a way to change that. But now he’s gone and I want to make sure I’m not drifting.”
“You’re not,” Jax told her, desperate to convince her. “You’re very anchored and happy. Especially the happy part.”
Ryleigh sighed. “You’re not listening.”
“I’m listening intently.”
“Then you’re not hearing me. Jax, I feel what I feel. You may not like it but you don’t get to invalidate it. I’m not happy—at least not in the way I want to be.”
Jax didn’t like it, but knew she couldn’t say that. “You have such a great life. Your work, your friends, your family.”
“I want more.” Ryleigh picked at her half of the muffin. “Maybe I should have stayed in San Diego after college.”
“What? No! Definitely not. You would have been miserable on your own. You’d just ended your engagement. You needed the love and support you have here.”
Ryleigh looked at her for a second, then said, “This isn’t going to be solved today. Tell me about the summer schedule. You’re still doing Diary Days, aren’t you?”
