She nodded.
“It was never that.” Cheryl’s tone gentled. “You’re your own four-legged stool. It’s not about losing anything. It’s about being a part of something. Don’t be a lonely stool. Be a pair of them. Maybe a little bistro table.”
Jax started to laugh, then startled herself when she felt tears in her eyes. “I don’t want to be someone who’s afraid to love.”
“Then don’t be.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Why does it have to be hard?”
Ryleigh had barely walked into her condo after her long drive back from San Deigo when her cell phone rang. When she saw the 619 area code, she knew exactly who was calling. Fifteen minutes later she had a job offer that included a very generous signing bonus. She’d listened carefully, taking notes, then had promised to get them an answer by the end of the week. She hung up, gathered Lucy into her arms and held on tight.
“I’m scared,” she whispered into the silky fur. Lucy purred in response.
“I know I can do it. I’m not as strong as Jax, but I’m capable. I can move myself down there and start over. It’s just...”
She curled up on the sofa, Lucy snuggled against her. “I don’t want to go,” she admitted. “Don’t tell anyone but I don’t wantto go. I’ll miss too much. Jax and the kids. My friends, my job here. And Alex and Noah.”
Lucy looked up at her, her blue eyes knowing.
“Okay,” Ryleigh admitted. “I’d miss Alex the most. I can’t help it. I’m in love with him. I want us to be together, but he’s still in love with Kim. He doesn’t have room for me in his heart.”
Lucy gave her a friendly headbutt.
“Yes, I’m going to tell him, just not now.” She thought maybe she would throw the words over her shoulder as she was pulling out of town. Because as much as she didn’t want to move, she wasn’t sure she had a choice. Staying meant loving Alex but never truly being a part of his life. Not the way she wanted. And for her, friendship wasn’t going to be enough. Better to make a clean break.
But leaving meant walking away from so much, she thought sadly.
Someone knocked on her door. Instantly her heart pounded in her chest. The only person who ever dropped by was Alex and right now she felt too vulnerable to face him. She was afraid she would blurt out the truth and ruin everything.
But instead of her handsome friend, Cheryl stood on her landing.
“I should have called,” the other woman said, “but you were on my way and I figured what the hell.” She held out a slim diary. “You should read this.”
Ryleigh tucked her hands behind her back. “I’m not reading someone else’s diary. That’s your job.”
Cheryl grinned. “It’s been very enlightening. Our little town has a lot of secrets.” She waved the book. “You’ll want to read this one. It’s Dustin’s.”
“No way. He’s not the diary type.” Without thinking she took the book. “I’m not going to read this,” she said firmly.
“Of course not. You can simply return it to him. I’m sure he’ll be grateful.”
With that, Cheryl left.
Ryleigh went back to her sofa where she tossed the diary on the coffee table.
“I’m not going to read it,” she told Lucy, who curled up next to her. “It would be wrong. Very wrong. And intrusive. Dustin deserves to have his privacy respected.” She paused. “Although he didn’t try to claim his diary when he had a chance, so maybe he doesn’t care. And he’s a lawyer. He would know that if it wasn’t claimed then it became public property or something, right?”
She leaned forward, then sat back up. “No. I’ll text him. If he wants me to drop it off, I will. Otherwise, I’m returning it to its slot in the bookstore. That’s the right thing to do.”
She reached for her phone, but somehow found herself clutching the diary.
“Dammit,” she muttered as she opened it and began to read.
I’ve never felt like this before. I can’t talk to anyone and this diary is a stupid idea, but I have to let it out. I can’t stop thinking about her. God, what’s wrong with me? I’m with Ryleigh. We’re in love and it’s great. But last night I met someone else. She’s amazing. Beautiful and sweet and funny. Just looking into her eyes, I knew she was the one.
“Holy crap! Dustin cheated on me with some bitch cow!”
