“I wasn’t in that place. I never thought about dating anyone. I’m trying to figure out why. I like being with you. It’s fun and we get along. So why am I so wary about, you know, committing and stuff... ?” Her voice trailed off as she realized she might be going down a dangerous path.
His expression became unreadable. “Where do you see this going?”
“This?”
“Us. Are we going to keep seeing each other?”
Oh, crap, this was so bad. “I hope so. I want to. I know I have trust issues and possible control issues but you seem okay with them.”
“Could you ever see yourself falling in love with me?”
“God, no,” she said with a laugh. “Falling in love? I don’t think so. That’s—”
Something flashed in his eyes. It was dark and full of pain and then it was gone. She suddenly got that she and Marcus were not in the same place and that she might have just said exactly the wrong thing.
“I mean it’s really soon,” she amended. “Love takes time and, you know, time.”
“So not now, not ever.”
A statement, not a question, she thought, struggling to come up with an answer. “Love is complicated.”
“So to quote your bird, this is just about getting laid.”
“No. It’s more. Marcus, I like you. This is great. We’re great. All of it.”
“I don’t think so.” He shook his head. “I knew you hadn’t been dating but I assumed that was about the divorce. A failed marriage is a tough thing to recover from but that’s not the reason, is it? You’re not interested in being with someone. If I hadn’t pursued you, you’d be happily on your own.”
“But you did and I’m glad you did. I like us going out. I want to be with you.”
“Jax, when you listed all the things you were pleased about in your life, I wasn’t one of them. You’re right, love takes time. Maybe my question wasn’t fair, I don’t know. But I saw us going somewhere and I don’t think you do. Ironically, I’m going to quote all the women I used to date. I want more.”
“More than what?” she asked before she could stop herself.
He exhaled. “Okay, that’s the answer. The job’s aboutwrapped up. I’ll send you the final bill when it’s done. Goodbye, Jax.”
He got up and walked away. She stared after him, not sure what had just happened. Everything had been so great—they were going to have sex that night. Only, now she wondered if she was ever going to see him again.
Chapter Twenty-Four
The Fourth of July dawned clear and warm, promising a hot day and the perfect night for fireworks. Jax got up earlier than usual—something she’d been doing for the past few days. She wasn’t sleeping well since Marcus had walked out on their conversation. She’d done her best not to think about what had gone wrong between them but it was impossible to ignore the sense of unease that dogged her. It was almost as if she’d forgotten something important and couldn’t remember what it was. She alternated between being pissed at him and being sad with herself. The former made sense but the latter confused her. So they weren’t dating anymore. Big whoop. Only it felt like a big whoop to her.
She opened her door and was surprised to find Huckleberry waiting for her. He meowed a greeting and rubbed against her.
“Is this actual love or are you hungry?” she asked the cat as she scooped him up into her arms. He pressed his head against her chin and purred. His tiny kitty toes made biscuits on her shoulder.
“Thank you for being there for Ramon,” she murmured.“Don’t let him run away again. And don’t you think about leaving, either.”
Because now he was part of the family. No one had come forward to claim him. Along with his new collar, he had a pet license and current shots.
She set him down and went to the second floor to greet Ramon. After both pets were fed, she went into the store and started her day. In celebration of the holiday she replaced all the books in the front window display, collecting enough red, white and blue books to create an American flag.
A little after eight Ryleigh showed up with breakfast sandwiches and coffee.
Jax hugged her in appreciation. “I haven’t done any grocery shopping this week,” she said. “I feel like I can’t keep up and I’m not sure why.”
They sat at one of the tables in the empty coffee bar. The store was dark and quiet. When they opened at ten, it would be busy and noisy but for now Jax enjoyed the solitude.
“I knew today would be a scramble,” Ryleigh told her. “You’re still coming to the picnic on the beach, aren’t you?”
