Jax sighed. “He’s being stubborn, which is so like him. Anyway, enough about all of this. How are you and how’s your cat?”
Ryleigh waited, but Jax didn’t say anything about Lucy’s attempt to attack Ramon.
“School’s out,” she said. “I have my usual mixed emotions. Otherwise, it’s all good. Lucy’s adjusting really well to being with me and when we spend the night at Alex’s. Noah adores her and is so gentle with her. Seeing them play together warms my heart.”
“He’s a good kid. Alex’s had a tough road, what with losing Kim, but you wouldn’t know it from looking at Noah.” She glanced over and smiled, then raised her glass of wine as if toasting. “You’re a big part of that. He’d be lost without you.”
“We’re good friends,” Ryleigh said, ignoring the sudden clutching in her heart. She’d been having strange reactions to the oddest things lately and had no idea what was going on. She was getting plenty of sleep, her diet was mostly healthy and she was starting her summer break. Where was the bad?
“You’re a little bit more than friends,” Jax teased. “I assume the adult sleepovers continue.”
“They do.”
“And the sex is better than marginal?”
Ryleigh laughed. “Yes, by any definition.” She opened her mouth to say more, then unexpectedly burst into tears.
“What’s wrong?” Jax turned on the seat so she was facing her sister. “You’re crying. Sweetie, what is it? It’s something.”
Ryleigh waved away the comment as she tried to get control. “This is ridiculous. I’m fine.”
“It’s something for sure because you’re not a crier. I’m not, either, although lately I’ve cried about eighteen years’ worth. Tell me. I’m right here and whatever it is, I’ll fix it.”
Ryleigh gave a strangled laugh-sob. “You can’t fix it. No one can.”
Jax glared at her. “I’m your big sister. I can do anything. Now spill it.”
“I’m not holding out on purpose,” Ryleigh insisted. “I genuinely don’t know—” She sucked in a breath as the truth crashed in on her like a meteor. “I’m in love with Alex.”
Her sister’s eyes widened as they stared at each other.
“You are?” Jax asked. “Since when?”
Ryleigh told herself to take it back. She couldn’t be in love with Alex. They were friends—good friends. Okay, yes, now they were sleeping together, but only as friends. It was practically medicinal sex. She could have amazing sex with him and sleep in his arms and not fall in love with him.
Except maybe, possibly, she had.
“This is bad,” she said, coming to her feet. “So bad. I can’t love him. It’s a disaster. Loving him ruins everything.”
“I disagree. Loving him is the exact answer to what you’ve been looking for. Marry Alex and have babies with him. Problem solved.”
“It’s not solved.” Ryleigh stared at her. “He’s still in love with Kim. He’s not over her death and there’s no way he sees me as anything but a friend.”
“How do you know?”
Because he was always encouraging her to move away. Not exactly the actions of a man desperately in love with her. But saying that to Jax would make them start fighting and she didn’t want that.
“He talks about how great we are as friends and how he still misses Kim. He’s never hinted that he has any feelings for me.”
“But you’re having sex.”
“Yes, but it’s not the romantic kind.”
Jax frowned. “How is the romantic sex different?”
“It’s about bonding. This isn’t that. But somehow my heart wasn’t listening and now I love him.” She sank onto the chair and covered her face with her hands.
“That’s what’s been wrong with me,” she said more to herself than her sister. “That’s why I keep thinking about him and why I agreed to sleep with him, because if you think about it, us becoming lovers had disaster written all over. It’s the reason he was the first person I wanted to call after my interview and—”
