Perhaps, in the end, all a person really had was the choices they made. Perhaps the most elaborate con of all was believing you could be anything more than what the world made you.
“I became what people wanted of me because who I am has never been enough,” she said quietly, thinking of Revna, of the husk she had become. “Not if I wanted to survive.”
That was why this mattered to her so much, why she was willing to betray her own heart to do it. Because if she succeeded, if she finally earned her freedom, for the first time, her life would be hers to control. She could be whoever she wanted.
She could live.
A soft brush against her hand surprised her, and she looked down to see Allaster’s finger against her own.
Truth, she thought, the word more painful than ever before.
Then he sat forward abruptly. “Someone’s there,” he said at the same moment that she detected a shift in the magic. “It’s—no. It can’t be.”
I’m sorry, she thought, and they both snapped their fingers.
Kasira sought the person in the portal room so that when she appeared, she barreled straight into them. Elyae shoved her off with a sound of surprise, looking between her and Allaster in confused alarm. It was Allaster’s anguished expression that struck her though.
“Elyae,” he bit out. “What are you doing in here?”
The girl swallowed hard, but for all she had tried to outmaneuver Kasira, she didn’t have the same ability to lie. “I was meeting someone. They promised me information on Kasira.”
“You had information for them, more like,” Kasira cut in. “Who’s your contact? Were you on your way to Kalthos, or were you just going to send a message?”
“What are you talking about?” Elyae recoiled, seeming to realize there was something larger at play here. “Is this about me being a spy again? It’s not true!”
Allaster was quiet, and Kasira took the chance to swoop forward and pluck free the paper she had planted in Elyae’s pocket when she’d appeared. She opened the note and read, “Allaster intends to get Thane dismissed, even if he must orchestrate it himself. He’s instructed the others to keep an eye on Thane. Should I do anything?”
Elyae snatched the paper from Kasira. “I didn’t write this. I wasn’t going to—I don’t—” Her face ran through a complicated array of expressions, settling at last on indignant rage.
“You,” she hissed at Kasira. “This is your doing!” She lunged, but Allaster caught her around the middle and spun her back toward the wall.
Elyae rolled off it, her dark eyes flashing. “She is a liar and a fake, Allaster. She conned her way into her position. She doesn’t deserve it!”
“But you do?” Kasira closed the distance between them. “Is that what the Kalish promised you if you spied for them? The position of Assistant Librarian?”
Something close to laughter spilled across Elyae’s face, and she looked to Allaster, whose expression was marble-still. “And you?” she asked hoarsely. “Do you believe this too?”
Allaster closed his eyes for a brief moment before he replied, “I believe you were asked a question.”
Elyae’s mouth snapped shut, and she turned with a yell, driving her fist into the wall. It fractured in a spiderweb of cracks, her knuckles leaving smears of blood in their wake. Allaster slid in front of her before she could strike again.
“Elyae, please—” he began, but her laughter rose over him.
“I should have known better.” Her voice pitched. “I defended you when the others criticized you, but you don’t care about any of us anymore. You barely show your face except to deal with her.”
“Is that what this is about?” Allaster asked in exasperation. “I didn’t pay you enough attention, so you turn around and betray me to Kalthos?”
Elyae shook her head, stepping back until she collapsed against the far wall, her face glistening with sweat. “I’m done explaining myself to you.”
Allaster ran a hand through his hair, sending the curls askew, and stared down at the mage as though she might suddenly make sense. But Elyae kept her silence. “Very well,” he said heavily. “Elyae Valim, you are relieved of your position.”
Elyae got up and approached Allaster like someone no longer in possession of their own limbs. Kasira knew the look of someone trying not to break. She had seen it in her own face every day after Belvar. The girl was stronger than Kasira had given her credit for, and it was that strength, that leadership, that had made her the perfect target.
It was why Kasira had lured her to the portal room with the promise of information, although the mage was no longer a threat to her. Elyae was loyal to the Library. So loyal that when the news of her banishment broke, the other mages would talk. They would ask what Allaster was thinking, would whisper that maybe Thane was right, and maybe Allaster wasn’t fit to be Librarian anymore. And when Elyae arrived home, and Queen Sarren demanded to know why she had been rejected, the girl would spin a story of injustice that would poison the Queen against Allaster come the Conclave.
Allaster held out a hand. He had explained the process to Kasira, that magic could not be taken, only given. Elyae would have to returnit willingly, and without access to the pool, it was Allaster she surrendered it to. She touched the tip of her fingers to his palm, and in a flash of silver, something vital seemed to leave her.
She didn’t say a word as Allaster opened the Ayadese portal and she stepped through, the door closing with a resoundingthud. The note fluttered to the floor in her wake. Allaster picked it up, then dropped into the chair and buried his face in one hand.
