That was why Vera had shortened her timeline. That was why she was so threatened by the engagement announcement. By uniting the old and new royal families, it sent a message to the Kalish public, a message that things were changing. It meant the next heir to the throne would be the child of a beast sympathizer. It meant not an expansion of Haidra’s word to every nation across the continent, but a slap in the face to everything the goddess stood for, whatVerastood for.
“She wants to be queen.”
Allaster sighed, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “When the new Paratal took power, I even tried to make him see reason, thinking his youth might make him more open-minded. But Vera already had her claws in him.”
Kasira thought of the man she had met in Dessen’s tent. Young, charming, handsome. To the outside eye, he headed the church with the charisma of a con artist, the acumen of a politician, and the iron grip of one long used to people hanging on his every word.
In truth, he was Vera’s puppet.
“What happens if they succeed?” she asked, not sure she wanted to hear the answer.
Allaster’s expression grew grim. “I fear that if beasts are hunted to extinction, the ramifications on the natural would be catastrophic: natural disasters, food shortages, disease. Beasts are vital to maintaining the balance of magic, the ecosystem that supports our world. Without them, it will descend into chaos.”
CHAPTER 19
KASIRA
ALLASTER’S WORDS STAYED WITHKASIRA LONG AFTER SHE HAD LEFThis study. She held no great love for Kalthos. It had failed her as a child on the streets and every day since, but she had met good people too. People who had given her a home, a job, a chance, when others wouldn’t—even if it was all a ruse. People who would be pulled into this war regardless of what they wanted and be used to pave the way for Vera to stand and say,Look at what I’ve done for you.
But Kalish history was riddled with the battles they had started over imagined slights or coveted resources, their leaders asking why trade for what they can take? She was surprised it had taken them this long to turn their might against the beasts on such a scale. They had none of Miraval’s interest in learning from them, none of Jacara’s respect or Avaria’s veneration.
She understood why. Kalthos had always had the highest density of dangerous beasts, and whether by circumstance or provocation, no other country lost as many citizens to attacks. But nowhere else did people push so aggressively into the beasts’ territory. Nowhere else were beasts so mercilessly hunted.
Before coming to the Library, she might have understood more, but if there was one thing she had learned during her time here, it was that she, like many Kalish, had fundamentally misunderstood beasts.
Not your problem, whispered Loraya’s voice.You have one job. Do it.
She was right. She had always been right. But for once, Kasira didn’t want her to be.
Allaster had her teleport them down to the main library for practice, then led her to the dining hall. The entrance was marked by an arched double door painted so ornately with beasts and flora that she wondered if it had once been used for something else. There were stories in Kalthos about Amorlin attempting to establish itself as a seventh kingdom hundreds of years ago, but the Kalish had no historical account, and the other nations never supported the claim, which the Library denied.
“What could you possibly need to show me in here?” she asked as they approached the hall. “I still need to go see the Alkatir cub today.”
“Because I would rather not die by May’s hands tonight.”
“What are you talk—” She cut off as Allaster pushed open the dining hall door to the sound of applause. Three long tables occupied the center of the hall, filled with clapping mages. Fen and Carlia let out matching high-pitched whistles, their faces lit up with grins, and Kasira realized with a start that this was all forher.
Or rather, Eirlana, who had spent her life away from court, who’d had so few friends that she had turned to beasts for company. Eirlana as Kasira embodied her would beterrifiedof something like this. And while once Kasira would have basked in the knowledge of how thoroughly she had played her part, now she felt the same as Eirlana. There were too many eyes, too much noise. It crested over her like a wave, drowning her.
She bolted back down the hall. Voices called after her, but she tore around the corner and pressed herself against the wall, panting. The knot in her chest only curled tighter, her breathing too shallow to satisfy her lungs. She had to get ahold of herself.
This isn’t real, she thought, trying to separate herself from the burgeoning anxiety.
She leaned her head back against the cool stone. What had she expected? For the naming of the next Assistant Librarian to go unnoticed by a couple hundred people who had dedicated their lives to serving the place she was now irrevocably tied to?
“Dammit,” she hissed, unable to reel in her sudden panic. It had hit so hard and so fast, she couldn’t even say where it had come from. She never could. One moment she was fine, the next she couldn’t breathe. Her only redemption was that Eirlana would have fled too, but that didn’t save her from it having been reflexive, not planned.
She could not fall apart like this. Not now.
May appeared around the corner. “Lana, what is it? Are you all right?”
Kasira flinched at the nickname. It didn’t belong to her. None of this belonged to her. “I can’t go in there. They—I’m not what those people think I am.” She never was.
“The new Assistant Librarian of Amorlin? I know they’ve been tough on you, but that will change now.” May laid a hand on her shoulder, and Kasira ducked away.
“You don’t understand—” She stopped. The urge to bare herself to May was nearly overwhelming. What was wrong with her? She never spiraled apart like this during cons.
“I never should have come here,” Kasira whispered.
