Home.
Then something was forcing its way between us. I stepped back as Res stuck his beak in the narrow gap between our bodies, sniffing Caliza.
She yelped, stumbling back, and stared openmouthed. “Thia, he’s beautiful.” She started to reach out a hesitant hand but pulled it back. She’d never been comfortable around the crows. But no sooner had she begun to retreat than Res tucked his head under her hand, trilling gently.
Caliza gasped. Then her hand settled and she let out a small laugh, which slowly grew. “Thank the Saints,” she whispered. “Thank the Saints.”
* * *
After receiving my letter with our itinerary, Caliza had thought it prudent to check in with me in person. And, she admitted after Kiva’s incessant needling, she’d missed me. In return, I told her about our training with the other riders, introduced Samra and Caylus, and rehashed our encounter with the mercenaries in Isair.
All this we exchanged over cups of ice-cold talcé in the lobby of the flight training complex. The building had been built almost entirely of frosted glass imported from Jindae, the seams a dark, satiny metal. I knew from experience that the door to the left led to a barrack, the one to the right to the armory. Between them sat an expansive training ground.
The whole thing had been repurposed to train troops after Ronoch, but I could still see the remnants of the flight course through the sheer back wall.
The sight of it sent a shiver through me.
Caylus stood before the wall, inspecting either the glass or the grounds beyond it and muttering to Res. The crow pretended to listen but kept leaning closer to Caylus’s talcé glass, which dangled forgotten in his hand.
Samra had gone to oversee restocking theAizel, and Kiva stood talking to some new recruits off near the armory. Most of the active-duty soldiers had been pulled up for battle, leaving the complex eerily quiet and empty.
When I asked about the state of the kingdom, Caliza informed me that Razel had retaliated when I left Illucia. Her troops had pushed all the way to Edir.
Caliza expected they’d have to give up the ground as soon as Edir was evacuated and push south to Elaris. The town was well suited to battle, having been developed as a midway point in the kingdom to serve both as a transport for supplies out to the border as well as an easily defensible base after the last war with Illucia had resulted in heavy damage to Aris.
She bit her lip as she finished speaking, fingers worrying at a few strands of hair.
“What is it?” I asked.
Her gaze jumped to Caylus, then Kiva, and she stood, offering me her hand. “There’s something else I need to tell you.”
I took her hand, allowing her to lead me into the barrack building and into the privacy of a small office with only a simple desk, chair, and bookshelf. A thick, creeping dread unfurled inside me at the hesitance in Caliza’s expression. The last time she’d looked at me like that, she had told me she’d engaged me to Ericen.
“Maybe you should sit down,” she said.
I crossed my arms. “Just say it, Caliza.”
She took a deep breath.
“Estrel is alive.”
Distantly, I was aware I’d stopped breathing, but the knowledge felt so far away. Everything felt so far away, as if I were looking at the world from below water a hundred feet deep.
“I don’t understand,” I said.
Estrel was alive.
She was alive, and she’d kept it from me.
Estrel had been horribly burned in Ronoch, then vanished from the healer’s ward in the days after. When she hadn’t come back, I’d known something must have happened to her. It was the only reason she wouldn’t have contacted me. The only reason she would have left me alone.
Then Caliza said she was dead, and everything made sense. Except she wasn’t dead, and now nothing made sense.
She’d left me with no mother, a sister I hadn’t understood, and scars that wouldn’t go away no matter how many nights I prayed. She’d let me believe she was dead long enough for the wound to scar over, but only just. Long enough that hearing this news tore it open once more.
My knees struck the ground, but I didn’t feel it. Someone moved at my side, and Caliza was there, wrapping her long arms around me as I buried my face in my hands and cried. Res tugged on the cord, sensing my pain. When I didn’t respond, he pulled harder. It felt like someone was trying to tear my heart out, but it was already gone.
The door at our back slammed open, and Res leapt in. When he couldn’t identify an immediate threat, he let out a low, whining caw, nudging my back with his beak. I reached out, burying my fingers in his feathers.
