The animal inside me tries to claw its way free. My own skinsuddenly feels too tight, too restrictive. I’m panting from the pain, fighting the urge to go berserk.
Gunnar circles me. “The more you resist, the worse you make it.”
I swallow a scream. It feels like I’m being shredded from the inside, the animal scratching at my ribs. It’s becoming so uncomfortable I want to tear off my own skin. “What if I don’t want to transform?”
“Eventually you won’t have a choice,” Gunnar says, pacing around me. “So just give in.”
But I can’t. Iwon’t. Does he even realize what he’s demanding of me? When my claws came out, I didn’t know what was happening. I was angry.Tooangry. If I transform again, someone else could get hurt—or killed.
Tears burn my eyes.
“Go berserk!” Gunnar screams in my face.
I shrink back, making myself small. All the students are staring at me now. No one seems to be practicing their transformations anymore. Standing here in front of everyone, I’m not angry, I’mafraid.
Hot tears spill down my cheeks. “I… I can’t.”
So I do what I’m best at: Irun.
“Berserking is a gift,” Gunnar calls after me.
It doesn’t feel like it at all. It feels more like a curse.
CHAPTER FOURTEENAMUND
Another long day of classes. After Reading the Runes, I had a Philosophy and Ethics seminar, followed by Old Norse IV. Now I’ll finish the day with Safety and Surveillance Protocols… or rather, patrol. By the time I reach Father’s office, I’m thoroughly exhausted.
Of course I’m the last to arrive.
To my surprise, Father makes no comment other than “Close the door behind you.”
Once I do, I join the group.
Father leans over the map of Skallagrim with his arms spread on each side, as if the whole school belongs to him. “Have we made any headway on the stolen pelt?” he asks, looking up at me. I suspect he isn’t just talking about the pelt but Edith as well.
I shake my head. “Not yet.”
Father looks around the room. “Anyone else?”
No one says a word, not even Val.
We all tense, awaiting a reprimand.
Instead, Father clears his throat. “Well then, let’s figure outassignments. Better you each take a different campus tonight. Can’t have you getting too used to one route.”
Val takes the berserkir section, while Michael reluctantly takes the witch one.
“I’ll do the seer campus,” Dorian volunteers, probably trying to prove how brave he is.
“Amund will,” Father interjects, surprising all of us. “Helga is going to perform a cleansing ritual on the seer school tonight, and she wants our help with the bonfire. Dorian, you take the hunter section instead.”
Dorian casts me a scathing look and storms out.
Val bumps my shoulder. “Everything okay?”
“Fine,” I grumble, hoping Father isn’t listening.
“?’Kay then,” Val says, but she doesn’t sound convinced. “We should talk later, Amund.”
