I slam my notebook shut, not wanting to look at it any longer.
“Don’t worry,” Tala offers. “A broken pen is nothing. You’ll learn to control it.”
I nod weakly.
Even though he was last to arrive, Isaac is the first to leave. Students pour out after him. Tala tucks her notebook away and patiently waits for me.
“I wanted to ask Maeve something,” I tell her.
“Oh, sure,” Tala says, frowning. “See you later then.”
Once she heads out into the hall, I approach Maeve’s desk slowly.
“Yes, Edith?” she asks.
My head is throbbing, but I do my best to keep calm. “Um, I was wondering,” I say, forcing the words out. “Is it possible to suppress one side?”
After all, that’s the whole reason I’m at Skallagrim.That’swhat I need to learn. And fast. I have to get this under control before Jim and Patricia show up for the Unity Celebration.
Maeve shakes her head. “As berserkir, our goal isn’t suppression but balance. If you try to repress one, there will be consequences. Our animal side is always going to be stronger, since it’s more primal. That’swhy if you spend too long as an animal, you can lose your humanity.”
I grind my teeth. That’s the last thing I want.
Maeve continues, “But if younevertransform, your animal nature will manifest in unpredictable and violent ways.”
I can’t help but recall what just happened during class.
What happened with Jason.
“Like attacking someone?” I ask slowly.
Maeve nods. “The animal will always come out, whether you want it to or not.”
Maeve’s words continue to haunt me as I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling of my room. By the time I finished classes, I had a full-blown migraine. This was my first one in weeks. Ever since the incident with Jason, actually. Luckily, Patricia insisted I bring my medicine with me just in case.
Now I can’t seem to sleep even after taking some melatonin. I toss and turn in bed, recalling how miserable dinner was. Bea and I were supposed to eat together, but as I approached her excitedly, she joined up with her new friends instead of me. So I scanned the dining hall, unsure where to sit, hoping to find Nils or Emilía. Instead, I spotted Tala next to Isaac, and someone else with cropped brown hair and plenty of piercings. Tala waved when she noticed me standing awkwardly, but I settled on the empty table closest to the exit and ate alone.
Rolling over, I check the time on my phone again. It’s already 11 p.m., but it only feels like 7 p.m. for me. Tala is already snoring in her room. I don’t know if she’s an exceptionally loud snorer or if everything just sounds that much louder to me now that I have this animal inside me fighting to come out.
Maybe a run will help me clear my head and sleep.
I pull on a tank top, a pair of joggers, and my running shoes, and I’m out the door.
Outside, the air is cold and crisp. Moonlight illuminates Skallagrim, drenching the campus in an otherworldly blue. Despite the full moon, there are plenty of dark and shadowy crevices in the large recesses of the ancient buildings. Lamps line the path, warm beacons of light, but no one else is around to see them.
After some quick stretches, I take off.
My feet pound over the path, falling into a familiar rhythm. The only thing I have to worry about is the next step. Running reminds me of home, even as I pass unfamiliar buildings. Soon sweat slicks my skin, my breathing grows heavier, and my muscles start to strain.
With everyone sleeping, campusshouldbe quiet.
But instead every sound seems magnified, too loud in my ears. Not just my heavy footfalls or quick breaths. I can hear branches creaking, birds flapping, and—footsteps. The hairs on the nape of my neck start to rise. Slowing down, I glance over my shoulder.
The courtyard is empty. Only the creepy statue of the school’s founder stares back at me.
Yet the footsteps continue.
Suddenly, this no longer seems like such a good idea. I thought I’d be fine since this is still a school campus, and I’m confident I can outrun anything. Skallagrim is supposed to be safe. But is a girl really ever safe alone at night? Weshouldbe able to go wherever we want, whenever we want, without having to worry about our safety, but…
