I stand between their portraits, tears burning my eyes. They’re both smiling the same way they used to smile at me. Dad would smile when he tucked me into bed; Mom would smile when she was reading me fairy tales. But they never smiled like that with each other, did they?
Seeing them separate like this, each one contained within their own frame, I wonder if things would have been different if they’d separated sooner like Amund’s parents. Maybe they both could have been happy eventually, instead of staying stuck.
Maybe if Mom had left, she’d still be alive.
Maybe I’d still have her.
As I look back down the hallway, I realize that for most of my life now, they haven’t been my parents. More of my life has been without them than with them. I’ve lived with Jim and Patricia for longer than I lived with my birth parents.
“Edith,”a woman whispers behind me.
I whirl around, but no one is there.
Amund stares at me, his brow furrowed.
My stomach sinks slowly.
That voice.A shiver spreads through me, my body recognizing it on some instinctual level before I do. It’s a voice I used to love more than anyone else’s.
Leaving Amund behind, I hurry toward it. “Mom?”
“Hi, Edie,”she says.
Tears well in my eyes. Even though I can’t see her, I can hear the smile in her voice.Edie. Mom is the only one who ever called me that. This really is her. I glance around the hallway, desperate to find her. No matter where I look, she isn’t there.
“Where are you, Mom?” I call out.
Amund looks confused. “What?”
“I don’t have long,”Mom says. “You need to leave while you still can.”
I rush toward the sound of her voice, trying to find her.
“I love you so much, Edie,”she continues, her voice echoing through the hall, everywhere and nowhere at once.“You and your sister mean everything to me. Even if you can no longer see me, I want you to know I’m always looking out for you.”
Hot tears drip down my cheeks.
Choking on a sob, the only word I manage to get out isMom.
I hope it’s enough for her to know how much I love her. How much I miss her every single day. How much it meant when she cut the crusts off my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for me, or how her warm arms were the safest place in the world, or how her soft voice has always been my favorite sound.
“You need to escape,” Mom continues.“Open the door, Edie. I know you’re scared, but you need to see the truth. You need to know what really happened that night. This time, you won’t have to face it alone.”
I turn to Amund. When he offers me his hand, I take it and stare down the door to my parents’ bedroom. Thick, long scratches run through the wood.
My parents argue inside, barely muffled.
“So what, you were going to run away with my girls?”Dad demands.“While I was at work, busting my ass to pay our bills, working myself until I’m exhausted?”
When I reach for the handle, it gives easily.
The door creaks open.
I stiffen at the sound, worried they’ll hear me, but they’re too busy arguing to notice.
Their arguments were always so intense they forgot everything else.
Even me.
