“I wasn’t sure you’d show up today,” I say as she faces me.
“Me either,” Edith admits, holding the dagger between us. “I’m sorry I freaked out the other night. And for… you know.That.”
I lower my gaze to her mouth. “There’s nothing to apologize for.”
I could lose myself in those lips of hers. If anyone should be apologizing, it’s me. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about our kiss. I’ve barely slept since, reliving it every night.
Her hand trembles as she holds the dagger.
She’s hesitating. I can tell.
“It’s okay,” I say, urging her on. “Show me where you’d strike if I were attacking you.”
I take a step toward her.
Something in her stance changes. Edith brings the dagger up to my throat.
“Here, probably,” she says, the blade resting beneath my Adam’s apple.
“Not far off.” I take her hand in mine, guiding her dagger up and to the side. “The carotid artery and jugular vein are right here. Slash one of those, and the target will be unconscious within fifteen seconds. Sometimes less.”
Her hand shakes in my grip. “Okay.”
My jaw tightens at her obvious discomfort. “I know it can be a lot. If you want to practice something else, we can.”
Edith searches my face, her dagger still resting against my throat. Resolve enters her eyes. “I need to learn how to protect myself.”
“All right, then.” I guide her hand to my left pectoral. “Above the heart and to the outside will cut the pectoral muscle. If you slash horizontally, you can sever the cephalic vein.”
My heart hammers, beating beneath her blade, a reminder of how close she is. I don’t know who this is more challenging for: me or her. I’m fully alert to her presence, hyperaware of her every movement. My senses are even sharper than usual.
“The next area is the abdomen, like I showed you last time,” I say, lowering her dagger there. “Either a long vertical or horizontal slash will work. Just imagine a large cross in this area here. That will disembowel your target.”
Just like the killer is doing, I realize after saying the words.
“When did you learn all this?” Edith asks, her voice unsteady.
Beneath my leathers, scars map each of the areas like a diagram in a textbook. My father marked each one shallowly so I would never forget where to strike. My hand tightens around hers at the memory. “A long time ago.”
She withdraws the knife and takes a step back. “I’m sorry.”
That surprises me.
“Don’t be,” I say after a moment. “It’s how I survived.”
As the words escape, I’m reminded of something Father once said to me.When it comes to survival, never be sorry.Looking at Edith standing before me, I am. I’m sorry that I only know how to hurt, to kill, and not to love. Until Edith kissed me, I didn’t even know how to do that.
I’m relieved when it’s time for patrol.
After being so close to Edith, my nerves feel frayed. I wanted so badly to wrap my hands around her waist, close that distance separating us, and feel her soft lips on mine again. I’m still thinking of her when I reach Father’s office.
We have the same patrol assignments as last time. Val and I are taking the berserkr campus.
She looks less than thrilled about it.
As we head out, Val glances over at me. “Maybe you’ll run into your girlfriend again.”
“She’s not my girlfriend,” I say roughly.
