A laugh escapes me. “You?Really? A hunter?”
Amund offers me a small smile.
His dimple makes my stomach swoop. This is one of the first times I’ve seen him out of his leathers. I like him this way. He seems more human. I assumed someone like him would be unfazed by violence, even if he doesn’t like it. Amund always surprises me. What else would I discover if I got to know him?
When I can’t take the silence any longer, I speak up. “Any time there’s screaming or raised voices, I don’t know… I just can’t deal with it. My parents used to fight all the time. That’s why I had to leave.”
“I understand,” Amund offers.
From the way he says it, I can tell he’s sincere.
“My dad was always awful to my mom.” Normally, this is the last thing I want to talk about, but for some reason, I feel like I can open up to Amund. “Whenever they fought, they told me to go into my bedroom and be a good girl. So it just kind of became automatic. I’d run to my room, telling myself that if I was good enough, they’d finally stop fighting.” I try to laugh, but my throat is thick. “I never was, I guess.”
Amund listens to every word.
Once I’m finished, he says, “What your father did wasn’t your fault.”
“I know that. At least logically, like I know it wasn’t my mom’s fault either. But some part of me still blames her.” I stare at my sneakers, ashamed by the words as soon as I say them. “I know. It’s awful.I’mawful.But I… I never understood why she stayed with someone like that.”
Silence.
After a long moment, Amund says, “Sometimes leaving is harder than staying.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s like a snap trap,” he continues. “You don’t realize you stepped into one until its jaws close around your leg. Once you do, it’s too late to leave. You have to choose between the pain of the metal crunching your ankle or severing your foot to be free.”
“Is that why you stay with your dad?” I ask, searching his face.
“Part of it,” he says. “I don’t know what he would do if he lostbothhis sons. I’d rather remain than let something happen to my brother or mother. If my dad ever did anything to them, I’d never forgive myself.” Amund looks away, dragging a hand through his hair. “Staying by his side is the only way I can protect them now. And… I do still love my father. I can’t imagine life without him.”
I chew on one of my nails, not knowing what to say to that. Mom did the same thing, didn’t she? She bore the brunt of Dad’s anger so Bea and I wouldn’t have to. How must that feel? Like you’ve locked yourself in a cage with an animal to keep them from escaping and hurting anyone else. But what about my mom?
What aboutAmund?
Behind him, I notice a couple walking through campus—
Wait. My stomach sinks. That’s Tala and Isaac.
Amund turns, following my gaze.
“That’s Isaac,” I mutter. “We should see where they’re going.”
We trail them to a tower near the middle of campus.
“Why would he be bringing Tala up there?” I ask Amund.
He turns to me. “There’s only one of two reasons people go up there. The tower is a good vantage spot. Hunters often use it to see the wholecampus. It’s usually secluded. Quiet. I sometimes go up there to clear my mind.”
“What’s the other reason?”
Amund hesitates, looking embarrassed. “Well, because it’s private and has a nice view…” He looks completely flustered now as he struggles to find the right words. It’s kind of adorable, actually. “Couples tend to go there to… well, you know…”
His eyes meet mine briefly before he looks away.
I crane my neck back, but the tower is too tall. Hopefully what I told Tala isn’t putting her inmoredanger. I shudder, imagining her confronting Isaac about it, only for him to push her off the tower.
“We better go too,” I urge him. “What if Isaac hurts Tala?”
