When I opened the door and saw the frown on Raymond’s face, my heart squeezed. As easy as it was for me to decide to end the relationship, I couldn’t lie and act like I wouldn’t miss him. Being with him had been the best distraction, but now, I needed to accept the fact that drowning myself in work had done more harm than good. Overworking myself was a punishment for not being there with my sister. It wasn’t making it easy to live without her and my parents. All it was doing was increasing my blood pressure and filling my days.
I’d been watchingKiki’s Delivery Servicefor the last decade, reminding myself that I’d get to this moment—this moment of realizing what I thought I wanted would never be enough—and now that I was here, there was nothing Raymond could say or do to change my mind.
Raymond tried to step inside, yet I shifted my body and lifted my hand to stop him.
“The hell did you block me for?” Raymond questioned.
“It’s been three days, and you’ve just now realized you’re blocked?”
His angered expression softened, but he wasn’t the kind of man to quickly acknowledge his wrongdoing.
“Why did you block me, Zoe?”
“I can no longer ignore the fact that our working relationship means more to you than our romantic relationship, so I think we should break up. Since I’m on break, we shouldn’t talk until I start working again.”
His eyes lowered to my hand. To my empty ring finger.
“Is this a joke? Is this your way of trying to make me say I’m sorry? I don’t have anything to be sorry about, Zoe.”
Sighing, I shook my head. “You’re right, Raymond. You don’t. I expected you to have more compassion, and that was on me. If you can’t be my man and boss at the same time, you won’t be my man. Simple as that.”
A bark of laughter escaped him, but it ended quickly when he realized I was serious.
“You’re serious, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” I almost whispered, eyes watering. “Look, it’s not you. I . . . I threw myself into work because of what was going on with me personally when I first came to Rose Valley Hills. I wanted to avoid the pain I was in, so I buried myself in work. You’ve taken advantage of that because you knew how valuable I was, but you know what, that’s on me. Regardless of how good I am, I’m still replaceable to you. In that moment, I realized my health isn’t as valuable to you as my mind and ideas. And you can say it isn’t that deep, but the man I choose to be my husband would never see me lying on the fucking floor and keep going on with a meeting as if I meant nothing to him. I don’t care how much money is on the table.
“You treated me like I wasn’t shit, Raymond, and though I forgive you for that, I will never forget.” Tears fell, and I wiped them away quickly. After releasing a shaky breath to try and calm down, I continued. “I can’t marry you, but I am willing tocontinue to work with you. If you don’t want that, let me know, and I’ll start looking for another job.”
“Zoe,” he called softly, taking my hand into his. “Look, I know I can be a hard ass, and I make no apologies for how seriously I take my business. I thought you understood and respected that. Admired that.”
“I did, and I still do. It’s just . . . I can’t marry youandwork for you, Raymond. And being honest, I don’t want to marry you. Not after you looked at me on that floor and didn’t care at all.”
“I did care?—”
“Not enough!” I yelled, pulling my hand from his. “You didn’t even ask me if I was okay. You scolded me like I was a child and gave me time off like you hadn’t been in my bed fucking the shit out of me the night before. I don’t want a husband like that. I don’t deserve a husband like that. If you can’t be softer, kinder, more loving . . .”
“Okay.” He lifted his hands and took a step back. “You’re asking me to completely change who I am, but I’m willing to try.”
My head shook and eyes rolled. “Raymond, you can’t?—”
“We’ll take a break,” he interrupted me to say. “Take these six weeks to rest. When you come back, we’ll talk and figure something out. Something you’re comfortable with for both work and our relationship. But you’re crazy if you think I’m going to just let you walk away from me because I didn’t respond the way you wanted me to.”
“If you love me at all, you’ll give me what I need. Asking me to stay with you is just further proof that you will always go after what you want, even if it’s to the detriment of what I need.”
“Six weeks,” he said, as if my words meant nothing at all. And in that moment, I realized it was pointless trying to talk to him. Not when he was dead set on getting what he wanted. And if what he wanted went against what I wanted and needed, Raymond Taylor would always fucking win.
Just to get him to leave, I nodded faux agreement. He cupped my face and kissed my forehead. To keep from pushing away, I squeezed my fists together. When he walked away, I slammed the door shut and leaned against it briefly to pull myself together.
Once I felt composed enough to not burst into a puddle of tears, I went to my bedroom and packed a few bags. I didn’t know what was going to become of my life when I came back to Rose Valley Hills, but for now, I was going to go back to Jasper Lane and focus on something other than my life crumbling before my very eyes.
But the great thing about this crumble was the fact that it didn’t feel like I’d be buried in the rubble. Instead, it felt like I was about to stand on the stones to step into the next phase of my life.
4
Haji
The last thing I needed was more bad news. Flickering lights and buzzing was a warning a retired firefighter like me knew not to ignore. Eventually, the wiring within Grounds 4 Love would need to be replaced altogether. It would hold up for now, but the longer I let it go, the more dangerous it would be for my employees and customers. Even if it never caught fire, they could start blacking out at any moment.
