“Fuck,” I roared, pushing her away as my legs twitched.
On her knees, Zoe giggled as she pulled her shirt over her head. I sat up and pulled her shorts and panties down. Leaving them around her ankles, I positioned her so that she could look at the stars while I fucked and filled her with my seeds from behind.
The Next Morning
I’d stopped by Zina’s and Lianne’s graves. After giving them both flowers, I was honest with them about the changes in my life and the way those changes made me feel. How I felt about Zoe and how life was progressing with her. I spent a little extra time with Zina today. A part of me felt like I owed her. Not only was she my best friend while she was alive, but she gave me the best love I’d ever had when she transitioned.
Acknowledging that truth made me break down. I hated feeling like my love for Zoe was covering the love I had for Lianne. Then I realized my love for Zoe wasn’t covering the love I had for Lianne; it was covering the pain I’d been living in from losing her. I was able to love Zoe and be loved by her because I’d lost Lianne. And when you experienced a loss like that, it made you intentional every day of your fucking life to ensure you never felt robbed of the chance to love and live again.
Every day, I was intentional with Zoe. I made sure she didn’t just hear my love, but she felt it. I made sure she never had to question the lengths I’d go to, to protect and cherish her. I made sure I did everything I could to make her happy. The more I gave her, the better I treated her, the more Zoe doubled it and gave itback. The happier I made her, the more she increased my peace. The more I loved her, the more she loved and respected me.
I had Lianne to thank for that, and when I accepted that truth, the guilt released.
As I made my way back to my truck, a smile was on my face. I got inside and called my precious.
“Hey, GG,” she almost sang, reminding me yet again how good it felt to be loved proudly. To be cared for and prioritized by a woman who felt safe enough to be happy with me.
I understood we had no idea when our lives and relationships would be over, but for the first time since my wife died, I had a reason, a person that made me want to live and love for as long as I possibly could.
“Hey, my love. What do you want me to bring home for breakfast?”
24
Zoe
A Little While Later
“Surprise!”
“Ah!” I yelled as I stepped inside my home. I had an idea Haji was up to something, but I certainly wasn’t expecting it to be this.
Tears immediately started to pour as the weight of what he’d done settled in. “Aww, Precious. You’re such a big baby.”
“Thank you, GG. I’m so happy!”
Haji laughed as he hugged me. He waited until my tears were done falling to dry my face. When he told me he wanted to celebrate me finally selling my home and officially being a new resident of Jasper Lane, I didn’t think he’d invite our family and friends to do it.
As I said hey to everyone and thanked them for coming, I saw family from Memphis that I hadn’t seen for years. And he didn’t just throw a party together so people could eat and drink in my honor, but there was a gift table covered with stacks of cash and gifts. It had been so long since I’d felt celebrated and loved inthis capacity, and I had to keep myself from crying over and over again.
Daddy and Mr. Young were manning two grills, and I couldn’t wait to stack a plate high with barbecued meat. Mama and Mrs. Young were responsible for the sides, and Bianca had hooked up the desserts. Jessica had taken care of the planning and décor, and my heart was full the more they shared with me how much thought and effort had been put into the party.
I stepped further into the backyard and was tickled at the sight of the water slide and bounce house. If Haji did nothing else, he put forth effort to heal my inner child. Maybe inner child was incorrect. Maybe young adult with scars who was pushed out into the world too soon was a better description. I couldn’t wait to put on my swimsuit and have some fun. While Mama asked me if I wanted to open gifts or eat first, I didn’t give a fuck about none of that shit. I wanted to take a shot and go down the waterslide.
My girls wasted no time coming with me so we could put on our swimming suits, and all Haji did was laugh and shake his head as he sipped his beer. I dropped a quick kiss to his lips and thanked him again before rushing toward the waterslide. For a brief moment, I thought about how bored, lonely, and depressed I would have been if I went back to my old life.
Then, I looked around at the backyard of the home I shared with the man I loved. It was full of people I loved, blasting music, and good smelling food. This was what life was truly all about, and I had to silently thank my sister for urging me back home and reminding me of that.
Losing Zina destroyed my heart. I didn’t think life was worth living without her in it. But even without her here, she inspired me and reminded me to live, to love, to embrace community, and to spend my days doing what I was passionate about, and I’d forever be grateful to my big sister for that.
EPILOGUE
Zoe
A Year Later
Haji’s head shook as he stared at the cake. I’d baked him his favorite cake to celebrate the turnaround Grounds 4 Love had. He could say it was because of me, but it was because of him. He was the one who’d kept my sister’s dream alive, and for that, I’d always be grateful.
It took a lot of work, but it was fun work, nonetheless. And after one year, Grounds 4 Love was more prosperous than it had ever been. It was fully staffed, and had officially become a seven-figure business. We didn’t just have regulars in Jasper Lane, but it had also become a tourist stop. So many people traveling in and out of Memphis and Rose Valley Hills stopped here to try Grounds 4 Love.
