I also wasn’t sure if I wanted to tell him about Haji.
Or the fact that I was considering staying in Jasper Lane permanently.
That part, I was still thinking over.
Truth was, regardless of how much fun I was having, I’d grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle that was the opposite of what I had here. Plus, I made damn good money working for Raymond. Though I knew Haji would offer to provide for me, I didn’t know how he could. The coffee shop hadn’t been making enough money to take care of him let alone me. I didn’t want to be a financial burden on him.
He had a really nice five-bedroom home with a bonus room and large backyard, fit for a family. And his truck was nice. I wanted to ask him how he’d been maintaining for the last year, but that felt too intrusive to casually bring up in conversation. So as much as I wanted to stay here, I didn’t know if I would. More than anything, I was considering continuing to work for Raymond virtually and just traveling when I had to for meetings.
“I’m happy to hear that. I can admit I wanted you to take the break for your physical health, but I’m happy to hear it’s helping you mentally and emotionally as well.”
He sounded sincere, which I appreciated. “Thank you, Raymond.”
“Are you coming home in a week?”
There it was. “Is that why you’re here?”
Raymond shrugged and thanked the waitress as she set our drinks down. “Yes. You haven’t been replying to my texts.”
“You told me not to work for a month, so I’m not sure why you were texting me about work.”
He smiled. “I needed you. I know this will sound selfish, but I’ve been struggling without you at the office. A part of me was hoping you’d help, even though I asked you not to work for four weeks.” Raymond paused and sighed. “I can admit I took a step back and let you run more than I should have. You made me comfortable, I trusted you, and you were so good at your job that I got too comfortable. The last three weeks have been an adjustment for me. As uncomfortable as that has been, I can also thank you for that.”
“I know it can be easy to get a little lazy or, as you put it, comfortable when you have good help. That isn’t all on you. To be valuable to you, I overextended myself. I wanted you to trust me and feel like I could do whatever you wanted and needed.”
“And you no longer feel that way?”
My head shook before I took a sip of my drink. “Nah. I’m done performing for anything and anyone. I’m also done abandoning myself and my boundaries to keep people in my life who don’t need or want to be kept. Our work relationship was strained and toxic as hell because I took on too much and didn’t say no. That was completely on me, and though you took advantage, I take responsibility for that.”
Raymond’s head tilted as he eyed me curiously. “Hmm . . .” The smile that lifted the corners of his mouth disappeared just as quickly as it had made its appearance. “You’re different. I wasn’t expecting that.”
“Yeah, I bet,” I said with a chuckle.
“I wanted to wait until after we ate to discuss this, but I can’t help but ask how you’ve been spending your days here.”
“My mornings are the same. Even with you suggesting I’ve gained weight, which I haven’t, I swim, run, or workout. After that, I spend time in the coffee shop. Then, I do whatever.”
“Are you ready to come back to work?”
“Honestly, Raymond, no. Some days I miss it, and others, I don’t. I was thinking about staying here and working virtually unless we had meetings, then I’d come to The Hills. Is that something you’d be okay with?”
“How would that work?” he questioned.
“Well, a lot of what I do is done on my computer alone after consultations with clients. The only time I come to the office is when we have meetings, so it’ll literally be the same. I’ll still be able to travel with you and network. I just won’t be in the office or Rose Valley Hills.”
Raymond released a long exhale and massaged his chin. “I don’t know how that would work with your new promotion. That was why I wanted to come and talk to you.”
“Promotion?” I parroted quietly. I wasn’t expecting him to say that.
“Yeah.” When his hands reached across the table, I hesitantly put mine inside. “I’m not gonna hurt you, woman, and I know you know you’re still safe with me.” His thumbs caressed my hands. “I wanted to apologize sincerely for the way I reacted to you passing out in that meeting. Looking back, you did deserve better than that. I was so busy focusing on business that I didn’t put forth the effort to be your man or a compassionate boss for that matter.
“Romance aside, I should have shown more care regarding your health. The first one on that floor with you should have been me. I made it seem like I cared more about money than you, and that was wrong morally. Not only was it wrong morally, but it was wrong professionally as well. The second meeting led to them deciding to work with another firm. They said I was cold, callous, and uncaring. They said I showed them I didn’t care about my fiancée, and if I didn’t care about you, they couldn’t trust me with their business.”
“Oh, so that’s what this is about?” I pulled my hands from his. “You’re not apologizing because you were wrong. You’re apologizing for business.”
“No, that’s not it at all,” he assured me softly, standing and sitting in the chair next to me. “That is what opened my eyes to how fucked up I was. I can be about my business and still care. My father ran his business with an iron fist, and I took on that ideology. Times are different now, and I have to adjust. Not just for business but personally too.
“I hate the way I handled you. For a while, I was able to convince myself I was right, but I wasn’t. You were working so hard for me, and while I respect you taking accountability for that, you shouldn’t have had to. I did take advantage of you. You being as great as you were allowed me to work less. My trust in you led to you overworking yourself. And instead of me paying you more and making sure you were okay physically and mentally, I yelled at you like you were a child. I sincerely apologize for that.”
