Fuck, I should have done something, said something more. Instead, I let her kick me out like a goddamn idiot.
Sparkle has got me by the balls, and I’m losing it.
Closing my eyes, I tune in to the music blaring through my headphones, trying to pull me under the way it always does. Tonight, even the music can’t drown out the thought of her, shimmering like glitter in the back of my mind, refusing to be shaken off.
Gaming doesn’t help.Weed doesn’t help. Hell, even the thought of fucking anybody else doesn’t help anymore.
I take one last drag of the blunt and flick it into the tray, the orange ember glowing for a second before dying out.
I need something else, something physical to get her out of my system. Standing, I stretch my arms above my head and glance at the clock. It’s early evening, but maybe Ezra is home. I crack my neck as I head for his room next to mine, finding the door ajar. But when I peek in, the room is empty.
“Ez?” I call out softly, pushing the door a little more, but the only answer is silence.
Great.
I shove my hands into my basketball shorts pockets and make my way downstairs, only to find him in the kitchen, getting a glass of water like it’s the most normal thing in the world while I’m over here practically losing my shit.
“Ez.” I lean against the doorframe. “Down for a session?”
Ezra turns, giving me one of those looks, the kind that tells me he doesn’t even need to ask what’s wrong because he already fucking knows. I don’t try to hide the edge in my voice or my restlessness. My energy is a mess, my thoughts are tangled up in her, and I need to hit something.
Hard.
“Sure.” He doesn’t call me out, though, just sets the glass down. Before we can move, the sound of the front door opening and closing pulls my attention.
Koen and Levi stride into the kitchen, looking as though they’ve been deep in conversation.
“How was it?” I ask, more out of habit than actual interest, anything to distract me from the chaos in my head.
Levi grins. “Oh, that girl is so damn good.”
Koen fumbles with his hair as he mutters, almost reluctantly, “Yeah, she’s good. I don’t know if she’s goodenough,though. We need her to be at least as good as Ric.”
I snort. “Nobody’s as good as Ric.”
Koen shoots me a dry look. “Fine.Nearlyas good.”
Ezra, who is now leaning against the counter, raises an eyebrow. “He still hasn’t changed his mind?”
Koen’s face tightens. “No, the stubborn little shit. I have no idea why he’s acting this way. It was his plan, after all.Hemade it with Oscar in prison. He loved Oscar. Why wouldn’t he want to see it through?”
Oscar.The guy who was so damn good at everything he did that even his absence feels louder than my presence. An absence that feels like a void he left behind and all of us try to fill.
It’s why I’m like this, why I’m so fucking drawn to her.
Because Sparkle doesn’t fill the void, she’s the opposite of a replacement. She’s something entirely new. Something unexpected, chaotic, and real. And maybe that’s what I need to remind myself that I’m more than the chaos people see, more than a boy Oscar picked up from the street.
Ezra’s voice pulls me back to the present. “Why are you so blind when it comes to Alaric?”
Koen stiffens, his brow furrowing. “What?”
Ezra glances at the rest of us before turning back to Koen. “You really can’t see it, can you?”
Levi straightens, his eyes flicking between Ezra and Koen. “Can’t see what?”
Ezra sighs, rubbing his temples as if we’re all idiots. “Alaric’safraid. He was nothing but a thief, an anxiety-ridden jail rat Oscar brought home. He’s scared you’re replacing him.”
I bristle atjail ratand shoot Ezra a sharp look. “Don’t talk about him like that. You?—”
