Enjoying things.Living.
Not after all the ways I’ve failed.
Jinx doesn’t care. She’s not waiting for me to explain or justify why I can’t leave. She doesn’t care about my guilt, my fear, or how broken I feel. She’s hungry, and in her world, that’s reason enough to drag me out of my misery.
Her purring rumbles against my palm, and I chuckle despite everything. She’s fucking persistent. And right now, that’s the only thing keeping me from completely sinking.
“Fine.” I let out a long sigh, running a hand over her back. “You want your breakfast?”
Jinx slowly blinks, which I swear is her version of a yes.
I push myself up slowly, gritting my teeth as the dizziness washes over me again. Jinx hops off me to stretch lazily on the floor before padding to the door, looking back at me as if to say,Are you coming or what?
For a brief moment, the dread of going downstairs, leaving my room’s safety, stalls me. My heart pounds in my chest, and I feel the edges of panic creeping in.
It’s just downstairs.
Just a few steps, nothing more.
It might as well be a thousand miles.
Still, she waits for me, her green eyes steady.
Can’t let her down.
I turn and catch my reflection from the darkened screen of my laptop, a ghost of who I used to be. The man looking back at me is a stranger, haunted by shadows and regrets I can’t outrun.
I pull on a black T-shirt that barely skims my skin, hanging a little loosely on me now. I know I have to get back to a routine, a schedule—work out, eat, andhelp Koen and Levi with whateverschemes they have going on. Oscar didn’t pull me out of prison and give me a purpose, only for me to fall back into my hole three years later.
He saw something in me and believed in me when no one else did.
Except he’s gone now.
Because of the plan I’d made.
And I’m left adrift, wondering if I still belong in this fucking house as part of the chaotic family Oscar built.
My gaze returns to Jinx still sitting patiently next to the door.
“Fine, I’m coming,” I grumble, my head spinning even worse as I stand and wince.I’m starving. I haven’t eaten in two days, and it shows.
My body aches with a hunger that’s more than physical. Still, eating is too much effort, like I don’t deserve even that small comfort.
Dragging a hand through my messy hair, which I’ve neglected so badly that it barely looks blond anymore, I shuffle after Jinx.
I guess if anyone’s going to get me out of bed, it’s going to be this damn cat.
Following her down the stairs, I pause halfway down as the warm, comforting smells of coffee and bacon hit me from the kitchen.
Jinx meows, reminding me of the priority—her food.
“I got it, I got it,” I mumble, heading toward the enormous kitchen. “You know, you could have asked the one that’s already up and let me sleep.”
She just gives me another look.
All right.
Of course, Koen is there, singing softly as he moves around with little effort. I hesitate in the doorway, unsure if I should say something.
