With a shuddering breath, I finally ease down, careful not to crush her beneath me while staying inside her, unwilling to lose the connection.
I need to stay close, closer than skin, closer than breath.
Her body is still trembling as she melts into the mattress, and I slowly shift to lie beside her and wrap my arm around her waist, pulling her back against my chest. She lets out a contented sigh, her fingers brushing lazily over mine as I hold her.
Our bodies fit together like they were made to.
My lips find her shoulder, pressing gentle, lingering kisses to the jagged scar. I kiss it over and over again as if I can rewrite every painful memory it holds with nothing but love.
She hums softly, half asleep already, and I feel her heartbeat syncing with mine. Each kiss grows softer until my lips barely brush her skin.
The fear that’s haunted me for so long fades with every steady breath she takes in my arms.
Her touch shattered something in me tonight, something I thought I’d never let go of. And instead of falling apart, I fell into her.
She’s my undoing and my salvation.
I bury my face in the curve of her neck, my eyes growing heavier with each slow beat of her pulse beneath my lips. “I love you, Nova,” I whisper again, the words tasting like truth.
She murmurs too soft for me to catch, but I don’t need to hear it. I know.
I close my eyes, my body wrapped around hers, and as sleep pulls me under, I hold on to the feeling of her, the proof that maybe I’m allowed to have this.
To love her.
To be loved back.
TWENTY-SIX
The Mercedes rumbles beneath us, the growl of the engine filling the silence. My head rests against the window, arms crossed, while Oscar’s hands grip the wheel. He hasn’t said a word since we left the courthouse, but a storm is brewing beside him.
Finally, he breaks the silence. “What the hell were you thinking, Koen?” His voice is calm, too calm, and that’s worse than yelling.
I shrug, not looking at him. “I wasn’t.”
“No kidding,” he snaps, his grip tightening. “Do you know how lucky you are that they only took your license? You keep driving like that, and next time, it won’t just be a ticket. It’ll be you or someone else wrapped around a tree. Driving like that, with Nicholas in the passenger seat? You’re not only playing with your own life. Levi told me you drive like that when he’s with you too.”
Traitor twin.
I don’t respond, staring out the window as the desert blurs past.
“Why, Koen?”Oscar exhales sharply. “Why are you doing this? You know better.”
“Do I?” The words are laced with more anger than I mean.
He glances at me, his jaw tight. “Don’t start with that. You do know better. You should know what cars can do, Koen. What they can take away.”
My stomach knots. I know exactly what he means. Mom. Rosie. Gone in an instant because of one stupid crash.
“I wasn’t racing,” I mutter, but even I don’t believe it.
“Doesn’t matter. You think that would’ve made a difference to them? You think the car cared why it was going too fast?”
I squeeze my eyes shut, biting back the flood of emotions. “I wasn’t trying to?—”
“What, Koen?” he interrupts. “What were you trying to do? Because all I see is you risking your life for nothing.”
“It’s not for nothing.” I turn to glare at him. “It’s how I… cope, okay? It’s the only thing that makes me feel anything.”
