I thought I’d killed you.
And Rosalee.
Rosalee. Her twin. Her other half. Gone because of me.
Why doesn’t she hate me?
The self-loathing I’ve carried for years surges forward, drowning me. I don’t know what’s worse. Thinking I killed the love of my life or knowing she survived but lost her twin because of me.
I carried that every day. The guilt, the grief. It’s all I’ve had. And now… now you’re here, and I don’t know how to handle it.
My hands shake as I type.
I don’t know how to do this, Nova.
I don’t know how to even look at you without feeling like I’m drowning in it all over again.
You have no idea who I am today, what happened, what made me that way.
I’m not the boy you missed.
The silence from the other side of the door feels like a lifetime. My stomach twists, torn between wanting her to respond and dreading whatever she’ll say next.
Finally, I hear her shift, the rustle of fabric against the door.
“I don’t know how to do this either,” she whispers. “But I want to try. Please. Just… let me try.”
Her words hang between us.And God, did I miss her voice.It still sounds the same, just a little more mature and a lot sadder. Tears prick the corner of my eyes as I press the back of my head against the door, closing them as a shaky breath escapes through my teeth. After a few deep breaths, another text comes through.
Yes, I missed my Ace, but I’m not the same Nova I was either. Maybe present Ace and present Nova have been through enough shit that they still fit together the same way the sweet teen versions of us did.
Fuck.
I don’t answer. I don’t know how. It’s too much—this,her, everything.
The phone buzzes again.
Tell me what happened?
My fingers curl around the phone.
What happened?
Where do I even begin?
I start to type, then stop, then start again.Fuck,this isn’t a conversation you do over text. It’s not a confession you do through a door either, butshit, it’s all I’ve got. All I can give her right now.
“I’ll tell you.” My throat tightens, the words catching like glass in my chest. “But… I don’t know if you’ll still want me back in your life after you know.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Ace. No matter what.”
I close my eyes, the ache in my chest easing just enough to let me take another breath. I press my head even harder against the wood, trying to will the words out.
“I woke up in a hospital. Everything was a blur. My body hurt, my head felt like it had been smashed into a thousand pieces. My skull was fractured in two places, and the seat belt cracked the ribs on my right side. My dad was there, sitting by the bed, and I remember thinking it was strange. He never sat still for anyone, let alone me. He told me I’d been out fora long time. A coma. He said there was a trial, that I’d been convicted for murdering someone while speeding.Vehicular manslaughter.Five years.” Her sharp intake of breath comes from the other side of the door. “Five years,” I repeat, swallowing the lump in my throat. “They said I was lucky. If I’d been older, it would’ve been more. But since I was still a teenager, they went easy on me.Easy.” I huff a bitter laugh.
There’s a faint rustle, the sound of her shifting against the door, and it grounds me enough to keep going.
She’s still here.
