“We met a couple of weeks ago,” I say, as if that should be all the explanation needed.
“Marianne and I went on one date and knew we’d be together for the rest of our lives,” Grandpa says, leaning in for a kiss on his wife’s cheek.
“More like bickering for the rest of our lives,” Grandma says, pushing him away.
“Burton and I are just friends,” Laney says, giving me a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “He helped fix my car and move me out of my apartment?—”
“What happened to your apartment?” Grandpa and Grandma say at the same time.
I turn to look at Laney, trying to keep a straight face and failing miserably. At first, I think she’s going to be stoic as well, but the corners of her lips twitch upward and she says, “My, uh, roommate was studying to be a taxidermist.”
Grandpa’s eyes light up just like when she said lacrosse players hit each other with their sticks. “That would’ve been fun.”
Laney shakes her head. “It was gross. And she had a deer in her room that I thought was a dead body.”
Grandma laughs, and the rest of us follow. “Have you been watching too many of those crime shows?”
“No, I work and then I hang out at home. Well, the new home I’m in. I moved in across the street from Burton. My roommate’s name is Jessa.”
“Does she collect roadkill?” Grandpa asks.
I snort in an attempt to stay quiet.
“No,” Laney says, looking like she’s trying to control her frustration. “She works with marketing and social media for Stockton Media.”
He gives a little arm swing and says, “Shucks. That would’ve been like solving one problem by walking into a new one.”
I’m laughing harder than I have in a while.
Our food comes, and I wish we were still waiting at least a few more minutes. Laney’s upbringing seems like it wasn’t typical on paper, but mine was, and it never felt like this.
We finish up the dinner, and I slip my card in when the check comes.
“Burton, you aren’t paying for all of us. This was for me to pay you back and celebrate Grammie’s birthday.”
I shake my head. “I toldyou we’re all squared away, and this is my small contribution to your grandma’s birthday.”
She narrows her eyes and turns to look at her grandparents. Grandma is thinking something, but I can’t figure out what it is.
The server comes back with the check for me to sign.
“Should we go?” Laney says. She’s using a clipped tone, but something is wrong, and I need to fix it.
FUR-EVER HOMES FORUM
FORUM THREAD: WHY DOES MY GOAT SCREAM BEFORE DOING ANYTHING IMPORTANT
@goatlover24:
My goat announces everything. Using the goat litter box? Scream. Jumping on the fence? Scream. Eating? Scream. Is this normal or am I being emotionally manipulated?
@cleoclaws:
Your goat is narrating his life. It’s performance art.
@foodfight88:
Some goats like to alert the barnyard before makingbold choices.
