"Because I was the sole survivor. Brennan wasn't the only one to question why I was still alive."
She drew a breath and let it out, her eyes filled with confusion. "It sounds like a nightmare."
"It feels that way to me."
"Is it possible you don't really know what happened, Max? If you were hallucinating, how can you be sure of your memories?"
He thought about her question. "I'm sure of some things. I'm sure that our mission was to find Qadir's hideout and call for a drone strike. I'm sure that Nicole and Brian are dead. And I'm absolutely sure that Qadir has never been an asset. Do I know all the details? I don't. But in my gut, in my heart, and in my head, I am certain that Ali Qadir is responsible for the death of my friends and for the deaths of many other people. You can believe me or not. You wouldn't be the only one to doubt my story."
"I believe you," she said, easing his heart. But the puzzlement in her gaze didn't completely reassure him.
"But?" he challenged.
"You were saying a lot of things last night, and one of them was about killing Qadir. You quit the agency, but you still want to take down Qadir, don't you?"
"Yes."
She sucked in a breath of surprise. "I didn't think you were going to admit it."
"The agency was going to send me to Latin America. They didn't want me anywhere near Qadir's territory, so I quit. I hunted him on my own for six months, but I ran out of money and resources. I went back to the UK to visit my father, to take a moment to regroup and consider my options. That's when I ran into Dominic. We had dinner. Dominic told me it was fortuitous that he'd run into me, that he needed a security consultant for his upcoming trips and projects in dangerous areas in the Middle East. It was perfect. I could take the job, make a lot of cash, and have an opportunity to go back into an area where I thought Qadir might be hiding, and I would be under the cover of private security."
Kara sat up in bed, pushing her hair behind her ears. "So, taking the job with Dominic was just a way for you to get back to your mission? Or should I call it an obsession?"
"Call it whatever you want," he returned, seeing the sharp gleam in her eyes.
"You want revenge. You don't want to capture him; you want to kill him."
"I tried to bring him in before. I tried to do it the right way, Kara."
"Revenge isn't justice."
"It's the next best thing," he said, seeing disappointment run through her eyes. He wasn't surprised. She wasn't a person who would seek vengeance over justice. She still had ideals. "I'm sure you don't agree."
"I don't. I believe in justice, in punishment, in putting people away, not killing them."
"Sometimes, that's the only choice that allows good to triumph over evil. If there was another way, I would take it."
"There is another way. Your agency knows he can't be trusted now. If he's captured again, he won't be turned into an asset. He'll go to prison. He'll pay for his crimes, for what he did to you, to your friends, to everyone."
"I'm not sure anyone will ever catch him, and if they do, I don't believe he'd allow himself to be taken alive."
"Well, that would be his choice, not yours."
As their gazes clung together, he saw a myriad of emotions run through her beautiful brown eyes. "I'm sorry," he said.
"For what?"
"Not being who you want me to be."
Her breath caught in her throat. "I don't know who I want you to be."
"Yes, you do. And I don't blame you. I was once like you. I believed in my power to change the world in a way that was honorable."
"I don't blame you for wanting Qadir dead. But there's time to make a different choice, Max. You just have to want to make that choice."
"Well, I may never get close enough to him to capture him or kill him. He's been very elusive so far."
Her expression suddenly shifted. "When you told me about Caleb being Malik Azrani's brother, and Malik being one of Qadir's top guys, you didn't tie that all together for me. You didn't say Qadir was the terrorist turned asset. Why not?"
