I’ll let him feel like he’s got control. That’s what he wants, right?
I’ll help him keep up this fake façade of not wanting me, while I’ll focus on figuring out how to stop wanting him.
Maybe one day I’ll believe it.
26
Brad
Noah’s been acting weird. Weirder than usual, at least.
After the day in the park, he’s been avoiding me. No eye contact, no heated glances, he hasn’t even been joining us for dinner.
Just heads to work and back home again. No talk in the car, just short answers to my very boring questions. That’s all I get.
To top it all off, I have no idea where he’s been going in the evenings and it’s been driving me insane. He’s been asking to borrow Veronica’s car once we get back home after work and once he leaves, he doesn’t get back until late. I hear him come in around eleven every night. It’s ridiculous. He’s running on little sleep, and if it were affecting his work, I’d say something. But it’s not. He shows up, and he handles what I ask of him.
I asked Noah to leave things with us alone, but I can’t help but feel strange.
I hate that he won’t talk to me. I hate that I had to push him away, but at the same time, it felt like my only option.
The distance is making my skin crawl.
I wish I could let it roll off my back, but I can’t.
I’m in the kitchen, cooking on Sunday night, when his familiar footsteps echo down the stairs. My pulse quickens, like it always does whenever he’s near. Veronica is talking to me from the living room, as sheplays with Paislee on the play mat. I try to focus on what she’s saying about the upcoming girls’ weekend, but I just can’t tune in. Not when Noah is leaving while looking likethat.
I see him slip past out of my eyesight, headed for the door. He’s wearing a black sleeveless shirt and cuffed dark jeans. His longer hair has been trimmed, but not enough to lose its messy style. It hangs perfectly in front of those beautiful green sparkling eyes, like it always does.
“You heading out?” I speak out before he can leave.
His hand hesitates on the doorknob. “Yeah, why?”
I hate that I’m asking. I hate that I’m giving in to the most significant weakness I have. But, I’ve got to know. It’s eating me alive.
“Just curious." I shrug, folding my arms across my chest. "Where are you off to?"
His eyebrows raise, shocked by my audacity. Frankly, I’m shocked too. “Why? You want to come with me?”
Is that an option?
“Just want to know what time we should expect you to be home. You woke up Paislee last time,” I lie.
He squints. “No, I didn’t. I checked on her before I went to my room and she was sleeping.”
Shit.
“Well, you’ve been out a lot lately. Maybe you should stay home. It’s a work night.” I clench my jaw.
Fuck, I’m so not cool right now.
“I shouldn’t be too late.” He twists the door handle, and before I can say another word, he exits.
Dammit, I lost him.
“Honey, you have to let him spread his wings.” Veronica comes in, bouncing Paislee on her hip. “Maybe he’s met a girl.” She smiles, makinga funny face at Paislee. “Oh, does Noah have a girlfriend?” she asks in a baby voice, cooing in Paislee’s face. “Yes, I think he does.”
I close my eyes, wishing this nightmare would end.
