“Yes, Brad,” she gasps.
No. Don’t speak.I wrestle my thoughts back, focusing on her hand trailing slowly down my stomach, below the tied towel.
There’s a split second where I think about how nice it’d be to be touched again, in that way. It’s been so long.
The way I woke up to him gripping me. His angry bites against my neck.
My eyes snap open.
“Vee, I–”
“Don’t,” she mutters, brushing her lips along my jawline.
I cringe as she nears my mouth.
“Vee,” I say again, holding her wrist to stop her. Any further, and there will be no way of denying the evidence that this is doingnothingfor me.
All I can think about is her moans being too high. And the way her soft fingers make my skin itch. And I can’t get those damn green eyes out of my head. Hers are wrong.It’s all wrong.
She huffs, slinking back, taking her hand with her. “You keep putting it off, and frankly, it’s starting to offend me.”
“You’re so beautiful.” I breathe deeply. “You deserve better than this.” I sit on the edge of the bed, defeated.
“Not this again,” Veronica huffs, throwing the blanket over her legs. She tosses her hair into a messy bun at the top of her head. “It’s fine. New parents go through this all the time.”
“Do they?” I ask, glancing at her over my shoulder. “What if it’s not…about being a new parent?”
She squints. “What else could it be about then?”
My chest tightens, throat thick.
Everything in me screams to stay silent, but my guilt is even louder.
Should I just come out with it? Should I tell her why I can’t get aroused by her or why her kisses against my skin sting? Rip off the band-aid and tell her the truth? My heart thumps hard and steadily.
Maybe she’ll stay and let me keep Paislee. Maybe we’ll be one, big, disjointed family.
My mouth opens, feeling the truth on the tip of my tongue.
Suddenly, the silent room echoes with the sound of crying. Both of our eyes snap to the flickering monitor sitting on the bedside table.
“You’ve woken Paislee. Great.” She grunts, shutting the monitor off and storming out of the room.
My head sinks into my hands, swallowed by my own cowardice.
Either I have to commit to telling her or commit to living this lie. Because if I keep continuing down this path, reliving this ghost of a memory of her son, I’m going to break in half and watch my world crumble around me.
I go through the cons that I’ve been trying to repeat to myself since the day he left.
He’s too young.
He’s my fiancée’s son.
And now, he’s my daughter's brother.
And the biggest con of all? He’s gone. Ran away without a second thought.
It’s over. It’s done with. A weekend that I need to forget.
