“Apparently,” he says, rushing his hand through his hair and looking back at the house. “I’m finding out at the exact same time as you are. I thought we were being careful—”
“Clearly not careful enough.” I shake my head. “Fuck. If I knew…I wouldn’t have…dammit, I wouldn’t have—”
I don’t know how to finish that.
I wouldn’t have come onto him?
Had sex with him?
Fallen for him?
Fuck! I am so fucked.
“I know. Shit! I didn’t see this coming.” Brad sulks, pushing against me.
I shove him off.
“So, what now, huh?” I ask, looking at him deep in the eyes. I know the answer but I don’t want to say it.
His mouth drops open but no words come out. My heart…fucking hurts.
“Hawaii is a fucking no go.” I state. “Obviously.”
He stares at the ground like it has all the answers. Well, that's enough of an answer for me.
“And clearly, you’ve got to stay here tonight. Probably for the foreseeable future,” I say looking at the house.
“Noah,” his tone pleading now. I’m not sure what he wants from me. I’m just stating the facts. The fucking reality of our situation.
“This is…over. That’s pretty much what I’m picking up.” I frown, feeling the words sting on my tongue. I bite my lip, feeling my emotions creeping to the forefront.
No. I won’t cry.I won’t.
This fucking bastard fucked with my head and now…now, I’m alone. Again.
“I’m fucking out of here.” I shake my head.
Brad reaches for me, grabbing my arm. “Please,” Brad shuts his eyes. “Please don’t leave.”
“Do I even have another choice?”
“Yeah, you do. To stay and figure this out with me.” His grip tightens, like he’s scared that if he lets go, I’ll float away.
I look at his beautiful face. I mean,reallylook. And all I see is a man that’s going to be tied to me for the rest of my life. And before, when I felt like that might be the best thing that’s ever happened to me— Now, I feel like it’s the worst curse that has ever crossed my path.
Because he won’t just be my mothers husband. I’ll share him with a sibling. This sounds like a fucked up Jerry Springer episode.
“Yeah, well…” I look over his shoulder, back at the house. “How doyoufeel about this?”
Brad’s mouth parts, his gaze flitting across my face like he’s searching for the right words—but can’t find any. I watch as he looks over his shoulder to the house, following my line of sight. Taking a moment, he looks back to me, sadness written all over his face.
“I want you, Noah. Ireallydo. I just…I…” He swallows deeply. “I’m going to be adad.”
A deep pain hits me straight in the chest. Hewantsthis. And if it weren’t for me, he’d probably be ecstatic right now. That thought alone shakes me to my core. Brad’s raw, unfiltered happiness is how this whole thing between us fucking started. I wanted him free. I wanted him to be honest. And now I’m the one making him hold himself back.
If after everything he still feels like he has to hide from me… if I only make things worse… then maybe I shouldn’t be here at all.
“That’s it then.” I nod. Brad steps towards me but I move back out of his reach. He can’t stop me this time. “I’m happy for you. The three of you.” I swiftly evade his attempts at grabbing for me.
