A soft smile creeps on his lips as he looks back at me.
I turn onto a dirt patch, well clear of any oncoming traffic, and cut the engine. This quiet part of town is mostly home to cornstalk fields and the occasional passing tractor. No one comes down this street at this hour.
I twist the keys so that only the playlist from Noah’s phone that’s plugged in is playing softly from the stereo.
Turning to him, I clasp my fingers between his. “Your mom stresses you out.” I immediately start racking my brain for alternatives for him for the night. “You can come stay at my place for the night. Tell your mom you’re driving to your apartment and just come to mine. Only if you want to.”
“It’s not that.” His lip quirks up slightly, and the small hint of a smile makes me feel better. “I mean, that sounds good— we should definitely do that. But, no, that’s not what I’m thinking about.” Noah shakes his head, looking down at our hands intertwined in his lap.
“Talk to me, then.” I urge quietly, unlocking my hand from his, only to slightly tug at his hair at the back of his head.
The last thing I’d want is for him to shut me out.
“It’s stupid.”
I huff out a laugh. “Noah, if you don’t tell me right now—”
“I’m going to need you to hate me. Or, at least act like it.” His eyebrows pinch together as he stares at my lips, waiting to hear the words. “I’ve never…actually,likedone of my mom's boyfriends before…she’s going to know something’s up. Like, instantly.”
Mystomach twists. What we have is new and fragile. There’s a huge part of me that wants to put as little time as possible between breaking things off with Veronica and being with Noah. After being in our bubble all weekend, what if time apart forces us to realize just how reckless this is? I don't want him to regret this.
I’m worried. I’d rather us not play anymore games.
“She’s not going to care whether we get along or not,” I say, resting my forehead on his.
He closes his eyes and I hear him breathe out heavily through his nose. “You don’t get it.” That stings more than it should. But he quickly soothes the burn with, “I never act like this. She’ll immediately wonder why I’ve let you in so easily.” He clenches and unclenches his fists.
“So what? Maybe it’s a good thing,” I say, playing with his hair at the back of his neck.
I pull on it, lifting his head up to look me in the eyes. He looks tired. “Oh yeah? Let’s play with how this will go. Her fiancé goes away on a camping trip with her son, and right when they get back they’re not only two peas in a pod but then her fiancé suddenly breaks up with her?”
“But it’s not like that.” I pull back.
“She’ll make it like that. She’ll blame it all on me.” He starts biting at his thumbnail.
“So we act like we hate each other?” I swipe his hand from his mouth. “I don’t think I can do that.”
Noah frowns. I can tell something else is weighing on his mind.
"What is it?"
"There's something I didn't tell you about my mom and dad." His brows pinch as he swallows thickly. “I was the one who found out my mom was cheating. I was the one who told him.” His voice tightens. “And Ithink part of her will always hate me for that. For blowing up herperfect little family.”
He shakes his head. “If she suspects anything between us, she’ll think I’m doing it just to hurt her. Maybe at first I didn’t want you two together out of spite… but it’s not like that now.”
I search his eyes. He really thinks this is the best option. I don’t want to make Noah any more uncomfortable than he clearly already is. Not when the carefree, relaxed Noah is so beautiful. So perfect. He deserves to be that version of himself,always.
And maybe he’s right. Maybe the only way to keepus, is to pretend we don't exist. Keep her in the dark as best as we can. I wouldn’t mind staying in our little bubble for a little longer.
Noah huffs out a laugh. “Okay, you don’t have to hate me. Just don’t look at me likethat.”
He pushes my face away as a smile tugs at my lips.
“I’m not looking at you like anything. Knock it off.” I grab his arm.
“Just be nonchalant. Becool.” Noah smiles, trying to tug my arm away from him. I’m not letting him out of my grasp that easily.
“Iamcool.” I narrow my eyes.
