Still, the fear of flipping my life upside down tickles at my neck. What if he doesn’t feel the same way? What if it was all just a one-time thing for him? I wouldn’t just be losing Noah…
I drop the keys on my lap. Thinking more about it, I lift the keys again.
Then, drop.
Lift.
Drop.
“Brad,” “Noah,”
We speak at the same time. Looking at each other, soft laughs break through the obvious tension.
There’s a quiet beat that settles between us as the words fight their way to the surface.
“Don’t… don’t marry her,” Noah says softly, turning toward me in his seat. “I’m not sure what this is… but I want a chance to figure it out.” He swallows deeply, collecting his thoughts. “I need more time with you.”
My chest tightens at his honest words.
“I won’t,” I answer, honestly. “Not after this.” I exhale, looking down at my hands.
“Don’t say that just because of me,” Noah shakes his head.
Myeyebrows pinch. “I’m not. I mean, yeah, this weekend was the best weekend of my fucking life. It feels like you’ve woken me up from being asleep for so long.” I drag my hand down my face and lean back in my seat. I’m never this open and vulnerable but hell, why hide it now? Noah will see right through it, anyway. “I can’t go back to living a lie. Not when the truth feels this good.”
Noah’s shoulders relax as he leans back in his own seat too. I glance over and see his eyes gleaming over at me. He looks so beautiful when he’s happy.
I do have to be completely real with him though. He deserves to know what this means. “But, this isn’t going to be easy. You'll have to be patient with me. I don’t need to tell her I’m with you…but Iwillneed to break up with her which will bring its own consequences. Add in our age difference. This isn’t exactly going to be a cake walk—”
“Fuck it. It’ll be so worth it.” Noah smiles, grabbing my hand and pulling it over to his lap. “I want this, Brad. If you need me to wait, I’ll wait.”
I laugh, squeezing his hand. He’s fucking wild. I can’t believe I’m doing this but…I’m so fucking happy at the same time. I cannot wait to explore this. Learn more about him. Be with him.
“I want this too.” I admit.
“I meant what I said last night. I’m yours.” He locks his eyes with mine as he brings my hand to his lips, kissing the back of my hand softly, sending ripples through my whole body.
“Fuck yeah you are.” I pull him in with my other hand on the back of his neck, and we lock lips instantly. We kiss deeply until we have to come up for air.
“Come to Hawaii with me.” Noah smiles against my lips.
I pull back slightly, chuckling softly. “I have a whole ass company to run. I can’t just leave.”
Noah laughs, his teeth grazing my lip as his fingers tighten on my thigh. “Okay then, hire an interim manager or whatever. Then, come meet me there. ”
Once I realize he’s serious, I let the thought sink in. Noah in Hawaii… Visions of us splashing around in the clear blue water flash through my mind. His beautiful green eyes glistening off the water’s reflection. Lounging with him in a hammock or fucking him on a canopy bed. How carefree that would feel. The thought fills my chest up with such hope.
I look at his beaming face, already trying to figure out how to make this real.
“Okay…yeah. I’ll figure it out.”
He blinks slowly. “You’ll do that for me?” He grips the back of my neck, leaning his forehead against mine.
“I’ll do whatever you ask me to.” I press my lips to his feverishly. Is it normal to be this addicted to a human being? I need his taste, his body, his heart. Seeing the way he looks at me like I can solve everything fills me up with such pride.
We keep kissing for a while until I sadly need to pull out of our lot. But this time, the keys don’t feel so heavy.
It’s almost funny; a week ago, I was planning for a wedding, thinking this part of myself was dead and put to rest. Now, I’ve met this young man who’s made me feel more alive than I ever have before.
