“Yeah, I must’ve.” I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand, feeling another wave of nausea coming on.
“Well, hopefully it’ll pass by tomorrow evening. I really don’t want to miss the fair this year,” she says, applying some lip-gloss on her lips in the mirror. I don’t know why she has to get so dolled up to go to Pilates, but I also don’t care.
“If I’m still not feeling well, I don’t know if I can.” I shake my head.
She lets out a groan, turning to face me.
“You arenotdoing this, Brad. I asked you foronething. Take me to the fair. That’s it.” She points her finger at me, making the guilt really settle in. I didn’t realize she was this over my shit.
“Okay, okay.” I hold up my hand. “I’m sorry. I’m sure I’ll be fine by tomorrow night.” I shift myself up against the wall.
Fuck, I’m starving.
I’ve barely been able to keep anything down these past few days.
And no, it’s not because I ate bad chicken or picked up some viral bug.
I’ve felt this sickness before and it’s purely brought on by one thing—Noah walking out on me…again.
After the hospital, he not only left the house, he completely shut his phone off, ghosting me,again.Not to mention, he skipped work with me and didn’t even show up to his bar shifts in the evening.
This guy royally fucked off. And it makes me absolutelysick to my stomach.
How could he do this to me again?
A whole week with no word.
How does he expect me to flip my life entirely upside down while he finds itso easyto walk away from me?
I look down at my phone in my lap, scrolling through the last texts I sent to him.
Are you fucking kidding me, Noah? Again!?
Are you coming to work today?
When am I going to see you?
This is pathetic. I’m so done with this.
Please answer me. I’m worried about you.
I squeeze my phone so hard, I fear I’ll break the screen. I want to throw it across the room, but then I’ll be really giving myself away.
Veronica fixes her hair in a high ponytail and I watch as she smooths down the sides in the mirror.
I lick my lips and gather up as much courage as I can to ask what I really want to know. “You think Noah’s going to be there?...Tomorrow, I mean?”
She leans in, plucking a stray hair. “Yeah, probably. He’d never admit it but he loves going.”
My stomach tightens. “Isn’t it his birthday the next day?”
I need to know. The anticipation of seeing his face again. It’s too important to me. If he’s there, I’ll fall apart. If he’s not, I’ll fall apart anyway.
Veronica drops her hand and looks at me surprised. “Woah. Yes, it is. You’ve got a crazy good memory.” She walks over to me, crouching down to meet me at eye level. “You only pay attention to the things you really care about, don’t you?” She raises an eyebrow, like she’s testing a theory she’s already half sure of. After waiting a beat, she smirks, giving me a few light slaps on the cheek.
What the fuck was that? Is she jealous of how much attention I give Noah?
I open my mouth to answer, but nothing comes out. I can’t even argue. I know she’s right. I haven’t been the best partner to her and I know deep down that I can’t give her what she wants. Honestly, I wonder why she’s still with me at all. As much as I dream of being head over heels in love with her, I know I can’t. My heart isn’t in it. Maybe at one point I thought I couldgrowinto my feelings. But…things have changed. And now I don’t know if I can continue pretending to ignore the inevitable end. I wonder if she feels the same as me and she’s been hanging on to this for the same reason I have. For Paislee.
