I flop on my back, putting my hands behind my head to watch the glorious scene of the two of them.
“Yeah, that sounds great.”
I’d want nothing less.
***
The more time I spend alone with Noah and Paislee, the deeper my feelings get.
I always knew what I felt for him was intense. I just thought it was lust—raw, blinding, all-consuming. And sure, that part was real. Undeniable. But a year away from him should’ve dulled it, worn it down to something manageable. Instead, I’m just as tethered to him now as I was the day we met. Maybe more. I know it. He knows it. Whatever this is between us, it’s bigger than sex.
Sitting here now, laughing over freshly made French toast and pancakes, watching Paislee babble in her high chair—it all feels…solid.Permanent. Like something that exists beyond this moment.
And while permanence used to terrify me, now it feels like an aspiration. With Noah, it feels like something I want more than anything. Like if I could just untangle the mess I’ve made, maybe we could actually have a real shot at something more. At a life.
Together.
***
Atsome point during breakfast, it came out that Noah has never been to a waterpark before.
Which, I had to rectify right away. Especially on a sunny day like today.
Stopping at our house quickly to grab our swim trunks and Paislee’s bathing suit and baby essentials, I drove us to my old stomping grounds. A park I used to come to all the time with my parents.
Proctor park isn’t huge by any means, but it’s big enough to be the hub of this town. With a whole waterpark in the middle, with a big water fountain, spraying on all the happy, stomping kiddos. There’s even a giant red bucket that pours down on ones that walk underneath. It’s perfect.
“Brad, look at her!” Noah calls out, holding Paislee by her armpits as she splashes her feet up and down in the water. The beaming smile on his face almost knocks me back off my feet. I watch, pulling out my phone to snap a picture. His smile is magnificent as he looks over at me, flashing the most dashing smile I’ve ever seen.
“I’m looking! I’m looking!” I laugh, snapping as many pictures as I can before tossing my phone back in the stroller. Running over, I join in on the chaos, taking Paislee and Noah under the bucket as promised. He shakes his head at me, leaving me even more soaked by his wet locks. Running my hand in his hair, I pull him in to kiss the top of his head.
It’s a full day of good vibes, laughter, and I seriously never want it to end.
As we drive home, Paislee is tired as all hell and completely passes out in her car seat. I look over at Noah. He still has a smile on his face as he looks out the window, tapping his foot along to the beat of the song he is playing.
I reach over to his lap, pulling his hand in mine.
Helooks at me, and then down at our fingers intertwined.
I smile, looking back at the road. “You make me so happy.”
Pulling my hand close, he brushes my knuckles against his lips softly.
I look over to see his eyes closed as he does it. Like he’s really soaking in my words. “You make me so happy too, Brad.Reallyfucking happy,” he mutters, before kissing it again. “Don’t fucking ruin it.”
A soft breath slips past my lips. I slide my hand to the back of his neck, stroking my thumb along the column. “I don’t plan on it.”
***
By the time we get home and settled, everyone’s tired. Noah basically collapses on the living room floor, and once I get Paislee out of her carrier, we do the same beside him. Noah’s head lays opposite to mine on the ground, as we both stare at the ceiling. Paislee lays on my chest, sucking on her soother as I rub her back softly.
“I wish you could sleep in my bed tonight,” Noah breathes.
I close my eyes, imagining how nice that’d be. “Remember how it felt in the tent?”
I can feel him smiling. I know he remembers it like I do.
“You were so warm,” he recalls. “It felt like you protected me from everything.”
