“I know.You always intimidated people.When you were a teenager, Larry and I wondered if you were ever going to stop growing and eating.I swear you went through more food than three kids.We thought you’d play football or wrestle, but you didn’t have any intertest in either one.You were much happier being quiet and reading.We hoped you’d go to college.You are more than smart enough to get in anywhere.”Joe and Larry had always encouraged him to be his best self.
“Maybe I can go.I don’t know.Right now I want to have a job and be able to support myself.Maybe begin to make a life outside of the Army.”That had been his life.His friends were in the Army.His unit had been his family, and he had planned, at one point, for that to always be the case.But a single bullet, a lucky shot, had found him and changed everything.
“Please think about it.I know things have been hard for you, but you know Larry and I love you and we want the very best for you.”Joe’s voice hitched.“Our one regret is that we didn’t adopt you.We should have made you our legal son.Nonetheless, we consider you that, and he and I made our wills a few weeks ago and left everything to you.”
Harm’s throat ached and he swallowed hard.He needed to get those muscles to relax.They didn’t always work right after the injury.His voice wasn’t the only thing affected by his injury.It seemed like the injury had taken just about everything.“You and Larry should spend everything you have on yourselves.”They had already given him so very much.
“He and I will take care of each other.But you need to consider what I’m saying.You could work at Amazon your entire life, but all you’d be doing is loading boxes or overseeing their processes.In the Army, you were working with new technologies.You need to be using those skills.”Joe always had a way of getting his point across.
“You’re like a dog with a bone.Okay.I’ll look into schools as long as you and Larry promise to take one of those trips you always talked about.Okay?Travel and be happy while you still can.”Harm sent the message and hoped Joe understood what he meant.He could be so sensitive about his age sometimes.
“We are.Larry booked us on a cruise in January.We’ll be going out of Galveston.The cruise is eight days.”The excitement in his voice was unmistakable.“So you keep up with your half of the agreement and at least look into going back to school.As I remember, it was one of the reasons you enlisted in the first place.I know you don’t feel like yourself, that the injury took something away from you that you don’t think you can get back, but you can.Don’t let that take away your dreams and your plans.”
Harm knew his eyes were watering.He had literally been through hell multiple times and he had never, ever shed a tear, but Joe always had the ability to touch his heart.“I won’t,” he typed.
“Then good.And just so you know, your papa has already booked passage for you on the ship in January.Don’t tell him I told you.He wants it to be a surprise, but you’re going to need the week off.So you have to know.”
“He didn’t have to do that,” Harm added, even though he was so pleased.He didn’t get much time to spend with them now that they had moved to a warmer climate, and this way he’d get a week plus with them.
“We know.But we wanted to.I’ll text you the dates so you can book your plane ticket to Houston.We’ll meet you there and ride down to the port together.”He could hear the smile in his voice.“Now, you go get yourself ready to do whatever you need to, and I’ll talk to you soon.We both love you.”Joe ended the call, and Harm sent an “I love you too” before setting his phone to the side.
It pinged almost immediately with a message from Amazon.He smiled and responded right away that he was available.A number of texts followed explaining their job offer.He grinned as more texts came in, explaining the pay, the rules, and the job they were offering him.It was a dream come true, and Harm accepted the position.Still more texts followed with details on when to come in to fill out the paperwork and when they wanted him to start.What they needed was someone to act as a liaison with corporate IS.He had done that sort of work for a few years in the Army, so he was fully comfortable with it.He would be working with others in the department.Harm explained that he would be there when they needed him and finally sent a note to Joe and Larry telling them that he had the job.It was going to be a relief to be able to support himself once more.
BY SUNDAY,Harm was going stir crazy inside his apartment.A storm had blown in late Friday and dumped a foot of snow through Saturday.But now the sun was out and the temperatures had climbed to the mid-forties, so much of the snow had already melted.After bundling up, he left his place above the antique store, trudging toward the library.
He knew what people thought of him.He felt it the moment he entered the library, because instantly the mood in the building changed and everyone hid.He tried not to pay attention to it, but Harm knew it was because of him.He had always been big, but the haircut and the fact that he couldn’t talk didn’t help.And well, the truth was that he didn’t feel happy and smiley.There was very little other than Joe and Larry in his life worth smiling about before now.
Like he always did, he made his way to the fiction section and found some new stories that looked interesting.The book he really wanted wasn’t in yet, so he had to make do with what was there.The thing was, he had read a lot of what they had already, but Harm managed to find some new titles and added them to the stack of things he wanted.
“You need to help him,” he heard someone say.Harm peered around the stacks toward the desk and noticed that the cute man who had helped him last time, the one who’d looked him in the eye without flinching and been nice, wasn’t there.Instead, the woman behind the desk seemed scared out of her wits and was probably only staying where she was because it was her job.Well, screw them all.They didn’t know him, and he had as much right to be there as anyone else.
Harm added a final book to the ones he wanted and went to the counter.This time he used the self-service, checked out his books, and then dropped off the ones he’d brought back before scowling at the lady at the desk, just to see her jump a little.Then he headed for the exit.
“Wait,” a voice called from behind him.He turned to find the man from the other day hurrying toward him.He had a smile and carried a book.“I had to go to Simpson yesterday, and I picked up the book you wanted while I was there.I checked it out to you already.”He handed Harm the book.“I know you were really looking forward to it, so I wanted to make sure we had it for you.”
Harm actually found himself smiling as he nodded.He wanted to thank the man, but he had no way of saying the words.So he continued smiling as he took the book, adding it to the others he’d gotten.
“You have a nice day, and I really hope you enjoy it.I was supposed to be off today, but stopped in and happened to see you.”The man seemed to be oversharing, but Harm really appreciated his kindness.“If there are other books you can’t find, just let me know, and I’ll do my best to get them for you.I love a good story too.”He stepped back, that smile and the warmth in his eyes not fading, and Harm smiled once more, nodding twice before leaving the library.
The smile lasted until after he got home.There was no reason for it.Maybe he was just so lonely that a man smiling at him got his heart racing.He knew he was being dumb.The man at the library was just doing his job, but at least the guy didn’t hide or run away from him.Instead, he’d searched him out and brought Harm the book he’d been looking forward to.
Setting the books on the table, he found the number for Caution, or at least that was his nickname.Harm didn’t remember his real name, but that was okay.He texted a greeting and got an almost immediate response.
“How are you?We’ve all been wondering about how you’re doing.”
“I’m doing okay.Trying to put things together in some way that makes sense,” he responded and could almost see Caution nodding in that way he had.He got the nickname because he never spoke unless he thought things through, which was why Harm had contacted him.
“Almost everyone has that same issue.At least that’s what I’ve been told.But I guess it would be worse for you.The rest of us came home whole… or at least most of us did.”Harm understood what he was saying.
“I know.I’m trying to put things back together with no voice.I mean, I feel like I’m invisible.”
“Ha ha!You have never been invisible in your life.”
“Yeah.Now I’m silent and everyone is scared shitless of me.People cross the street to get away from me.At the library, whenever I go in, everyone hides.It sucks, and I don’t know what to do about it.”
“Do you want me to come there and talk some sense into those people?You were the nicest guy in the unit.Whenever someone new joined, you were the damned welcoming committee.”The phone showed that he was still writing.“I wish I could help you more.But just be yourself and these people will see the person you really are.”
“Yeah, sure.If they stop running away.”He was starting to think coming back to Carlisle was a bad idea.
