“I know… I know… Fuck, I know… Never in my life did I imagine being in this position, and until you are, you havenoidea how hard it is to get out...” He shakes his head, teeth clenched. “How embarrassing…”
That’s when he begins to try and pull away, to retreat and close himself off as he has done this entire time. But I’mdoneletting him push me aside.
“Look at me. I need you to see what I’m saying, not just hear it.”
The second his gaze locks back on mine, I go on.
“I’m going to help you—not because you can’t help yourself,but because I want to. Because Ineedto.”
The way his eyes search mine before he bites down on his lower lip nearly undoes me. The urge to kiss him is so strong it sparks through my senses, leaving an ache in my chest as I force it back.
“But that starts with you telling me everything, without worrying that I’ll blame or judge you. Whatever you say, I’ll believe you. I’ll keep you safe, Ayden.”
His eyes redden, and I can tell he’s holding back tears, forcing in a deep breath to stop them from falling. He’ll learn I don’t care if he cries.
The only thing I care about is him.
And if that means living a miserable life alone because I can’t have the one person I want, then so be it. But while he’s here, he belongs to no one else—even if he doesn’t realize that yet.
26
Age 20
A week before Christmas
My bags are packed, and I can’t express how excited I am to be heading back to Colorado.
Alysa is coming home too; she says she’s making it her mission to get out at least once a year. Since we’re all congregating at the cabin for Christmas, this feels like the right time. My stepmom mentioned that Keoni will be there as well. I haven’t seen him in two years, and if I’m honest with myself, I’m nervous with anticipation.
Yes, we’ll probably have to talk about what happened, but we’ve had time apart. Time to build our own lives. And even if it’s sick to admit, I’ve thought about him now and then.
I’ve got Michael now. Keo has probably found a nice girl to settle down with. I can’t imagine someone like him staying single.
Checking my phone, I see a text: Alysa just landed in Denver.
The excitement inside my chest spikes. Even more than it had seconds before.
My flight leaves in a few hours. I like to get to the airport atleast an hour early, maybe more sometimes, but I want to spend as much time with Mike as I can.
Speaking of… the front door opens to his apartment, and I slip through the bedroom door toward him. He smiles at me, and goddamn, he’s handsome. We’ve been dating six months now—met in college, and moved in together a few weeks ago.
It’s all moved so fast, but I have no complaints. I’m genuinely happy with him.
“Hey, you,” he says, dropping his bag and wrapping me in a hug. “Holy shit, what a day.”
“How’s training going?” He’s in the police academy now after graduating with his associate degree. I love that he’s following in his father’s footsteps, just like I want to.
“Long.” He pulls me close again, pressing his lips to mine in a devastating kiss.
After he leans back, I tilt my head to keep our gazes locked.
“I’m going to miss you.”
His eyebrow quirks. “You’re going to miss me?”
His question is half-playful, half-serious.
“Yeah. For Christmas. I’ll be gone for two weeks, remember?”
