“I actually don’t drink alcohol.” He raises his reusable water bottle. “I’ve got the classic H2O to enjoy with you all this evening. However, I’ll indulge in some s’mores.”
“Just one drink! Come on. It’s alright, you’re with friends,” Kali says innocently. “If you’re worried about saying or doing something stupid, I promise nothing can be worse than Taylor messaging an influencer for his number and him posting it to his story with the title: And they say men are desperate.”
“Oh my GOD, you did NOT just tell him that! KALI!”
“That is so mean,” Ayden says through a laugh. “What an asshole. I’d give you my number, Taylor.”
No, you won’t…I take a sip and square my shoulders, the itch to let my internal thoughts fly is painful.
“Thank you, Ayden. But seriously, one drink?”
He laughs nervously. “No, it’s not that. I’ve got an allergy to most of them, so I just avoid them altogether.”
My brows pinch in confusion. The only allergies I know he has are to bee stings and nickel. So, I know he’s lying—but I’m not going to call him out. I wonder if the real reason behind it is embarrassing.
I look down at my beer and hum softly.
After barely a moment of thought, I place it down onto the ground beside me and turn to Corey. “Hey, toss me one of those seltzers. The blueberry pomegranate one, I know it’s Britt’s favorite.”
“That’s SO rude, Keoni,” she says through a hiccup.
The moment I catch it, I notice Ayden looking at me quizzically. Shrugging, I pop it open, letting some of the bubbles spill over before taking a sip.
I don’t understand how anyone can drink these things, but I guess the flavor makes it a bit more manageable. I’m not going to let him be sober alone. Hopefully, when I ask him later, he’ll share why he doesn’t drink anymore.
We fall into conversation, moving from how work seems to be getting busier, to the latest small-town gossip. They ask about Ayden, which is nice for me too—I’m getting to know him as though I hadn’t spent years living across the hall from him.
He graduated college and says he was lucky to get a residency at San Francisco General. I don’t think it was luck. He’s brilliant. He didn’t graduate high school with a 4.0 because of luck. Even though he hid his genius behind jokes and a contagious laugh, it never diminished how smart he is.
“So, are you single, Ayden?” Kali asks.
She’d asked me last week if it would be weird for her to hit on my friend. I told her he wasn’t looking for a relationship… even though I have no idea if that’s true. But I’ll be damned if I ever set her—or anyone—up with Ayden.
Over my dead fucking body.
“I am.” His voice sounds uncomfortable, and he shifts slightly on the armrest. At some point, I’d draped my arm behind him, careful not to touch. He’s bumped into me a few times, murmuring apologies, but he hasn’t gotten up to leave.
Good. That would’ve bothered me more than his ass brushing against my bicep.
“Honestly, that’s surprising. Right, Britt?”
My therapist, and friend, is completely wasted, so when she waves her hand and nods, I’m confident she doesn’t even know the question she’s agreeing with.
“Why’s that surprising?” he asks, leaning forward and crossing his legs. “Is it my riveting personality?”
She fuckinggiggles.
“And you’re hot. Please don’t act like you have no idea.”
“Me? Hot? Pfft.” He’s playing along. He’d never call himself unattractive, but he’s too humble to label himself handsome or sexy.
He doesn’t need to—I’ll do it for him. Kali might be stepping overmyline, flirting with Ayden, but she’s not wrong. He’s flawless in the looks department. A jawline that’s sharp yet relaxed, full lips that don’t vanish when he smiles, like most white men’s do, and a nose that’s perfectly balanced to his face.
Don’t even get me started on his eyes. As much as looking into them—knowing they’re filled with lies—hurts and angers me, their hazel reminds me of sanctuary.
Too bad I can’t have them, or the man they belong to.
And maybe it’s selfish, but while he’s here, if I can’t have him, then no one can.
