Both corners of his mouth lift, revealing those perfect white teeth in full. “Oh nooo.”
I chuckle, and set the mug down between my thighs, staring down into it. “Yeah. Totally the end of the world.”
Silence falls over us, but for the first time since coming back into each other’s lives, it isn’t awkward or forced. It’s calm, steady, and oddly comforting. If this is how we were to spend our time together in the cabin, not ignoring each other’s existence, I feel like I’d be okay with that.
Even if I’d take more… So much more.
The sound of Clover crunching her dry food might have ruined the moment, if not for Keo’s quiet sigh.
“Thirty days, Ayden.” Before fear, pain, and my overactive mind can race to the worst possible scenario, like I need to leave within that time, he continues, “I want you to find it in you to tell me why you never came here. I feel like thirty days is a good amount of time.”
I turn back to him, and he has his eyes fixated on me. It has me licking my lips, drawing his attention to them. “I’ll give you the time to trust me again.”
“I-It’s not that.” My stomach ties into painful knots. “It’s not you?—”
He raises his hand and shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter what it is.” His sigh is filled with so many unspoken words. “I’m angry at you, but I don’t want to be. This isn’t how I wantusto be… I can see you’re struggling. You can’t tell me what’s going on with you, but you want to…”
I nod my head slowly. It’s so minuscule, I’m surprised he can see it.
“Alright then.” He releases a long breath. “I’m sorry for reacting like I did last night. It’s why I’m in therapy.”Thatshocks the hellout of me. “I’m working on it.”
I want to ask why the sudden shift in his attitude toward me. He’d gone from completely ignoring me, completely shutting me out… to this? Making me coffee, laughing with me, to even telling me he’s in therapy.
Then I think about last night—Clover being out. Had he actually seen me?
Embarrassment crashes over me, sudden and sharp, and because of it, I don’t want confirmation that’s the case.
To be honest, it doesn’t matter thewhy.I’ll take this change.
Because he’s right, I want to tell him, but I’m just not ready. If he were the same Keo before my graduation party, I’d not hesitate to tell him what happened, but I fear what he’ll do.
I want to seemyKeo, even if I don’t yet deserve that. To feel safe again with him… Because when I tell him the reason why I never came, the reason why I never saw him after that night, or lacked the ability to see our parents more than just a few times in the span of eight years, I need to know he won’t just drop off the face of the Earth—again.
It’s too late to have any relationship with my dad, or Leilani, but I don’t want it to be with Keoni. Whether we stay as we are now, friends, or something more.
“What happens if I can’t tell you within thirty days?” I ask, genuinely curious. Will he actually kick me out?
His deep chuckle accompanies him standing. “You’ll see. Part of me hopes you don’t so I can show you.”
A sudden rush of heat rises from my neck straight to my face. “What?”
“Going for my run. Don’t forget to eat.” He laughs. That deep, timbered mirth fading with him as he leaves, and for the first time in years, a weight presses down on me—in all the right ways. I don’t feel like I’m about to drift into space, but instead, am anchored to the ground. And it’s exactly where I want to stay.
Thirty days. I can do that… Iwantto do it.
14
Age 14
It’s been four weeks since we found out that the woman our dad is dating is Keoni’s mom. That same night, they told us he had proposed to her. While I was hurt, for a moment, that he hadn’t asked Alysa and me for our blessing, I got over it quickly enough.
My sister went into crisis mode with her best friend, but now that she’s come to terms with Keoni beingoff the market, she’s far too excited about the idea of having a stepbrother.
Dad is so happy—and he absolutely deserves to be.
I think I’m more conflicted about the fact that today is move-in day for both of them. Leilani had been in the process of selling her townhouse here in Denver and renting out her apartment in Boulder. Moving into our home made the most sense. We have a spare room for Keoni, and far more space according to Dad.
After school, Alysa and I came home to a moving van and the white SUV that belongs to our soon-to-be stepmom. It all feels so fast, but for them, it’s been over a year in the making.
