“Yes, well…” I clear my throat. “Who are you to him? Sorry, he hasn’t mentioned you…”
The expression she gives me is akin to sympathy. “I’ll let him tell you who I am. I think it’s important, especially during this sensitive time, that he explains his needs and relationships himself.”
She may as well have just fucking told me she’s his girlfriend. What is so hard about that?
The moment I’m about to say something stupid, the sound of tires crunching on dirt has us both turning to see Keoni’s moss-green truck pulling up right beside a really nice Jeep.
Of course, she has money.
Jealous is ugly, Ayden, stop it.
He gets out and slams the door shut. His eyes lock on us—no, on me—immediately. They narrow in confusion but never look away as he rounds the porch and heads for the stairs. Brittany steps aside, smiling at him.
“Afternoon, Keoni,” she coos.
“Hey, Britt.” He tosses his duffle bag to my left, and the moment it hits the wall of the house, I startle.
“Hey.” I sound as defeated as I feel.Shit.
His eyes flick to mine. “Hey.” There’s a tinge of irritation as he shifts to gaze at the girl. “You’re early.”
She lets out a soft giggle. “Says the one always late.”
“I’m not always late.” He sounds offended by the statement. “Are you ready?”
I glance from her to him, hoping he’s looking at me, but to my dismay, he’s focused on her. Great.
The all-too-familiar hollow ache in my chest hits me so hard that I lean to the side, bracing myself against the door. I do my best to make it look like I’m just heading back inside.
“Yeah. Would you like Ayden to join us?”
I don’t even look at Keo as I slip through the screen door.
“No. This is our time.”
Where’s the damn knife? There’s absolutely no way I’m not bleeding.
“Nice to meet you, Ayden!” Brittany calls, but I shut the door and walk idly through the space to the stairs.
Suddenly, I’m exhausted. Fuck me. Maybe staying here wasn’t a good idea.
I plop onto the bed, throwing my back against the terrible mattress, and groan. Resting my arm over my eyes, I sink into the familiar sensation I’ve been swimming in for the past six years.
I’ll just go back to San Francisco…
Maybe I’ll move into the apartment in Boulder.
I should give this time—maybe Keoni will come around and talk with me…
Or maybe there’s no solution to this destructive feeling, and everything is hopeless.
Soft purrs come with fur dragging across my arm. Her quiet meow accompanies my teeth gritting together.
“Damn you, Michael.”
Damn him for making me into this person.
Damn him for breaking me down.
