I lean back slightly, resting my forehead against his. “There’s a lot going on in my head…” I’ve never told him this, but I don’t think there is any stigma around it—well, I hope not, anyway. “I suffer from diagnosed depression.”
I leave out themajorpart. I don’t want him to see me as unstable, even if… maybe I am at times. Like right now.
He leans back, surprise flickering across his face. “What? When?”
I chuckle, though it comes out strained. “Before I got here… Um…”
My chest tightens. This is a lot to dump on him. I’ve never told him how that night truly affected me—how I nearly didn’t make ithereat all. It’s not that I don’t want to, I do. I’m just working out how to.
I lift my hand, dragging my cold fingers across the warmth of his cheek. Goosebumps rise along his neck as I let my hand rest there.
“You can tell me,” he says, giving me that devastatingly handsome smile. “Youshouldtell me, actually. That’s better.”
But telling him everything would mean bringing up the reason for my diagnosis. The choice I made. The guilt I still carry.
My swallow is rough.
Just as I open my mouth—god knows what was about to come out—the crunch of tires on snow cuts me off. His gaze shifts past me, and I can’t tell if the look in his eyes is relief, frustration, or both.
“It’s Brittany.”
He eases off my lap so I can stand, and together we walk toward her just as she’s parking.
The moment she steps out, her grin consumes her entire face. “Well, hello, my favorite stepbrothers.”
I groan. “Leave, Britt.”
She mock-gasps. “I’m just messing with you. How about… my favorite couple?”
“I love that better,” Ayden says, wrapping his arm around my back and leaning into me as we stop a few feet from her. “What’s up? Didn’t know you were coming by.”
“Oh.” She quickly pulls out her phone, glances at it, then looks back at me. “Holiday’s over. Sessions are back on.”
Shit. That’s today?
“Can we restart them next week?” I ask. I know they’re important—I know I need them—but between this migraine, everything with Ayden, and Alysa leaving today, it’s too much.
“Nope. I didn’t just drive out here for chit-chat. I’ve got a date too, so let’s get this going.”
“Ohhh? Please tell me it’s Taylor,” Ayden teases.
The way her cheeks light up is answer enough. She quickly changes the subject. “Let’s go, Keoni. I’m not the one under interrogation here.”
I tip my head back with a sigh.
“Go, and I’ll get dinner started,” he says.
Looking down at him smiling up at me, I return it—even if mine is weaker. “Okay.”
“I hope you know I charge extra for these at-home visits when there’s an inch of snow on the ground,” Britt mutters.
“You complain a lot for doing your job,” I say with a groan before leaning in and kissing my sunshine.
I’ll be all right.Wewill be all right. I’ll get this out of the way, and then we’ll talk. He doesn’t need to love me rightnow—I’ll work for it. Every day if I have to.
That starts with me being honest about that night, what I could’ve done differently, and what I almost did.
“Have fun,” he says as I fall into step beside Britt.
