“Next week,” I reply, unable to say much more because my tongue is tied up in knots that would make a sailor jealous.
Phoenix takes two steps backward down the corridor and winks at me. “Make sure to keep your heeps loose,” he tells me in an eerily accurate impression of Boris.
You could come inside and loosen those bad boys up for me, I think, but luckily I’m able to keep from saying the words out loud. I unlock my door and slip inside, leaning my back against the wood surface and closing my eyes.
“Good lord, that man is the king of innuendos,” I say aloud beforesetting my shoe box on the coffee table and flopping onto my cushy gold-and-red-patterned couch. Approximately two minutes later, a knock sounds on my door. I leap up like my couch is on fire and dash to the door, images of Phoenix on the other side—with his muscular forearm resting on the doorframe—playing through my dirty little brain.
But of course it’s not him. Sabrina and Carrie push their way past me, Carrie holding a six pack of beer and Sabrina with a gigantic bowl of freshly popped popcorn. Then they sit their asses on my couch, leaving room for me in the middle.
“Come on in and make yourselves at home,” I say with mock hospitality, still standing with the doorknob in my hand.
“Thanks. We brought snacks,” Carrie says, ignoring my sarcasm.
“What was that loud thump in your apartment a few minutes ago?” I question, closing the door and locking it.
Sabrina points an accusing finger at Carrie. “She pushed me.”
“You were hogging the peephole,” she argues back.
“I was trying to see what was going on out there.”
“Well I wanted to see too.”
“Would you two numbnuts stop arguing?” I snap. “I swear I think you’re long-lost sisters.”
They put on matching expressions of chagrin before Carrie gestures to the seat between them. “Come on and tell us what you were doing looking all cozy with Mr. Hale.”
“What’s his name? Helix?” Sabrina questions.
Carrie shakes her head, making her messy bun wobble precariously. “Nah, Helix wears glasses. That was the marketing dude, Phoenix.” She looks to me for confirmation, and I dip my chin once in acknowledgement.
Then I plant myself between my friends. Might as well get this over with because I know these two nosy heifers won’t leave till I give them something.
Sabrina thunks the bowl of popcorn onto my lap while Carrie pops the tops on three light beers. Then they both stare at me expectantly.
I shove out a sigh. “You know I went on that trip to Philly lastweek?” They both nod, and Sabrina shoves an ungodly amount of popcorn into her mouth. “Well, I slept with Phoenix.”
They both scream, Sabrina spraying popcorn bits all over, and I cover my ears with my hands. “Holy shit, you finally gave it up,” Carrie squeals, picking up some popcorn and putting two kernels in my mouth like I’m a good dog who earned a treat. “How was it? Did you come? Does he have a big pecker?”
“How old is he?” Sabrina tags on. “And ditto on the pecker question.”
Resting the cool bottle against my lips, I tip it back and take a long swallow of beer. “It was really good. Our first night there, I got a little tipsy and blurted out that I wanted him to take my virginity.” Both of my friends are cramming popcorn into their mouths like it’s going out of style, completely in tune with my story.
“So we did it the next night. I expected it to just be kind of wham, bam, thank you, ma’am, but he…” They’re both staring at me intently, so I continue. “He made it special. We had a nice dinner, and he had candles and roses everywhere.”
“Awww,” Sabrina says around a mouthful. “Our little Jordie got romanced.”
I aim a flat stare at her. “LittleJordie? I’m almost half a foot taller than you.”
In response, she sticks more popcorn in my mouth and flips me off. “Don’t be height-ist, Jordie. Now, spill the rest of the tea.”
Rolling my eyes, I point at my full mouth. When I’m done chewing, I take another drink of beer. “It was really good. Hurt like hell at first because he’s a lot bigger than I expected.” I try to remember the other questions they lobbed at me like tennis balls. “And yes, I came. More than once.”
My friends high five right in front of my face, and I swat at their hands. “How old is Phoenix?” Carrie asks.
“Thirty-two.”
“Ah, a nine-year age gap,” Sabrina comments. “Did you call him Daddy?”
