Reece isn’t without females in her life. She has my mom, Rebecca, and Perri who dote on her. But Mom and Rebecca are grandmothers, and Perri is her aunt. Lorraine is amazing and adores Reece, but at the end of the day, she’s my daughter’s nanny and goes home at the end of the workday.
I’ve done my best to be both mom and dad to my child because I thought I could be enough. And to be honest, I think I’ve done a pretty damn good job. Reecie is happy and well-adjusted. But could I give her more?
Could I give her a mother figure?
It’s something I’ve never seriously considered, given what happened with Beatrice. I couldn’t imagine allowing someone the power to hurt my little girl, but I know in my heart, Jordie would never do that. She knows what it feels like to be abandoned by her mother, and there’s no way she would inflict that kind of pain on a child.
I realize I’m crying, so I turn my back and swipe the moisture from my cheeks, pulling cleansing breaths in and out of my lungs. What I told Remi earlier is true. I have fallen in love with Jordie. And I’ve had this bubbling in my stomach for a while because I swore to myself that I’d always put Reece first. But that guilt is gone now, replaced with a sense of rightness. A sense that maybe I can do both… prioritize my little girl and love a woman.
I turn back around to find Reece attempting to weasel her way out of bathtime. She’s tired and getting a bit whiny after a long day.
“But I don’t want to take a bath. The water is too wet.”
Ah, the rationale of a preschooler. Good times.I’m about to step in when Jordie says, “Sometimes I feel like that too, so I take a shower instead.”
My daughter’s brow furrows. “A shower?”
“Yep, the water is skinnier so it doesn’t feel so wet.”
“Skinny water,” Reece muses. It’s a bit ridiculous, but it seems to make sense to her because she turns to me with a big grin. “Daddy, can I take a shower in the skinny water?”
My daughter has just taken her first shower—or “skinny water bath,” as it shall now be known—and she’s curled up on her side in bed. Though her eyelids are drooping, she’s still fighting sleep.
I’m stroking her hair, which usually does the trick, but it’s been a big day for Reece with all the bouncing and sugar and gifts, and she just won’t drift off. I love her, but I’m honestly exhausted.
“Jordie, can you come over tomorrow and cook in the new Easy-Bake Oven you got me?”
Jordie’s eyebrows narrow for a moment. “I have practice all day, but I can come over when I’m done.” Her gaze shoots to me, and she adds, “If it’s okay with your dad.”
My eyes hold hers, and I hope she can’t read my thoughts because I’m afraid I might scare her off. “You know you’re welcome any time.”
Reece rolls onto her back, looking between us. “Jordie, do you like my daddy?”
Oh, good grief, kid. What are you doing?
“I do like your daddy,” Jordie carefully replies. “He’s a very good… friend.”
My daughter smiles sweetly. “Friends can hold hands, right? I hold Brittany’s hand at the park.”
“Um, sure,” I say uncomfortably. “Friends can hold hands.”
Reece takes my hand and Jordie’s and pulls them together. Ourfingers slide together in the most natural way, like they belong together. Then my daughter curls on her side with our linked hands resting on her small body… and falls asleep.
She looks so peaceful, and I feel acceptance from this little girl who means everything to me. Like I have her permission to find love and embrace it.
And that’s exactly what I intend to do.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Life is good
Jordie
Phoenix leans down and kisses the side of his daughter’s head before standing. He’s still holding my hand and tugs so I stand too but on the opposite side of the bed. Then he releases me and nods to the door.
As soon as we open it, we find a tiny kitten sitting patiently in the hallway, looking expectantly up at us. Phoenix scoops up Honey and returns to the bedroom, placing it on the bed. She wiggles a little before nestling her furry little head into the crook of Reece’s neck. He stares at them for a long moment before coming out and closing the door almost all the way so Honey can escape if she needs to use the litter box.
His hands go immediately to my waist, and he hauls me against him. My arms immediately encircle his neck. When his lips close over mine, my toes curl in my sneakers. Phoenix’s tongue is soft and coaxing, though the erection pressing against my stomach is the opposite of soft.
