My blade is angled against his chest, the soft spot between his ribs where his heart beats. All it would take is one push.
Yù’chén senses my hesitation. “Àn’ying, please,” he says. “You see it, too.”
I shake my head. “The only thing I see,” I say, “is that you’re amonster.”
“I was born in the Kingdom of Rivers, just like you—”
“You are nothing like me!”
I twist my blade in his hand, and he makes a choked sound, his knees buckling at the pain. I bend over him, my other blade swiftly finding his throat. He goes still, breathinghard. A malicious thrill swoops through me. This time,Ihave the power.
“Why are you here?” I demand.
His lashes flutter. “The same reason as you.”
“Liar.”
“Can’t I want what you want?” he rasps. “A better life, in a better place? Or am I not human enough to desire that?”
The tip of my blade digs into the curve of his neck, drawing a line of red. As I stare at it, I find that I cannot move.
“I mean you no harm, Àn’ying.” The way he speaks my real name sends shivers down my spine, for all the wrong reasons. “I am a life. I, too, have a beating heart.”
And just like that, with those words, the moment’s gone. I know that, despite every vow I’ve made myself regarding the mó, I cannot kill this man right now.
With a hiss, I pull my blade from his palm.
He curses and doubles over, cradling his wounded hand. Red puddles on the pristine white floor. I study his blood under the faint light of dusk, searching for abnormalities. But it’s the same red as mine.
By the time I look up, his bleeding has already slowed; his flesh is already beginning to knit together.
My hands fist. “You’ll live to see the next trial,” I say coldly, and turn to leave.
“Wait,” he says, pushing himself to his feet. His fingers wrap around my wrist, spinning me so I’m forced to look at him.
“Àn’ying,” Yù’chén says. He tries to smile. “Ally with me.”
The sincerity in his voice is so damn real.
“Don’ttouchme,” I snap again.
His smile falters, but he lets go. He stands there with hishands by his sides, one blood-soaked. “Ally with me,” he repeats.
I level a blank look at Yù’chén. “I don’t think you understand,” I say. “From now on, I want nothing to do with you.”
His lips part as he searches my face. His gaze ensnares me.
I hold it and carve my words to hurt. “Youdisgustme.”
Then I twist away and leave him there, caught in the shadows of twilight with the question I didn’t ask.
Why?Why does he still want me to ally with him when I have made clear my revulsion for him? When I have nothing to offer in terms of skill or physical prowess?
After all that…why?
It no longer matters. In the end, if the trials do not kill him, I will.
10
