Days Later
“And when did you neutralize the threat?” I glared from my brother to my father. Like what the fuck was the point of me coming all the way here for them to have already handled things. I’ve been here an entire month with no action but enough forced ass family time for a lifetime.
“This morning papa had a meeting with the family responsible for everything. They paid dearly.” My brother smirked as if he was proud of himself.
I shook my head, before attempting to walk away and go find my child. My father’s voice stopped me when he heavily said my name. “Lunarius.”
I turned around and faced him. “Yes.”
“I know it is your prerogative to go back to Chicago, but please know that we’re your family. Regardless of everything that transpired in the past. You are my daughter and your daughter is my granddaughter. I love you regardless of anything, my daughter.”
I nodded my head, before shocking myself when I replied. “I love you too.” Silence filled the room before I decided to go find my child. She loved spending time with her family and especially my mother even though I paid her ass no attention. I hated this for my daughter because now that it was time for me to return home I felt like I was snatching her away from the love she had here. At first I was apprehensive about even allowing them into her space because I was afraid of them letting her down. I had to remind myself that she wasn’t me and I wasn’t her. She was a child and she was unaware of the things that loomed in adulthood. I swore that I would protect her from those thingsfor as long as I lived, but I couldn’t keep her away from them. I couldn’t rob her of familial love no matter how much faith I’d lost in it.
The only problem is ever since my conversation with Rue I’d been thinking more and more about my mother. I wasn’t on some train of forgiveness or even thinking about forgetting, but something had to give, and I knew I had to talk to her.
When I turned the corner into the living room I spotted my daughter sitting on the floor playing with the cotton dolls that my mother had bought her and my niece when we first arrived. It was a sweet gesture. Well, it wasn’t a gesture. She was their grandmother and this was what they did. This was what grandparents were supposed to do. They were supposed to spoil their grandchildren no matter what. It took a lot for me to step back and allow my daughter’s relationship with my parents to be just hers. My own problems couldn’t become hers. I wouldn’t let them no matter what.
“Luna, can I speak with you for a moment?” The sound of my mother’s voice broke my train of thought.
I looked up and she was standing in front of me with an expression I couldn’t read on her face. Who was I kidding? I hadn't been able to read my mother’s expressions since I stopped caring enough to try. Nodding my head I followed her into the kitchen and watched her walk in the direction of the tea pot.
“I know I have gravely failed you. When I should’ve protected you, I abandoned you in a moment when you probably needed me most. Now you don’t need anyone, especially not me and as proud of you as I am I live in constant regret.” Finally she turned around and looked at me and for the first time I saw everything she was feeling. “I know you hate me but…”
As if my body had a mind of its own I was moving in her direction, then before I could stop myself I was hugging her astight as I could. Without words I was physically there in her arms telling her that it would be okay. I couldn’t bring myself to verbally tell her that I forgave her because I didn’t. Not yet at least, but I didn’t carry hate in my heart. I was just too disappointed and hurt by their actions.
“You are like me, but don’t be like me. be better than me, Luna.”
Chapter Seventeen
Ommy
No matter how much I wanted to sleep I just couldn’t. Not only was this child stretching me out like freaking play doh, but she was also fucking up my sleep pattern. While everyone else in the house slept peacefully I sat in the theater room watching reruns ofGrey's Anatomy.I was obsessed with the good old days. The ones right beforeMcdreamydied and everything seemed happy. Those episodes that didn’t seem to hang on Meredith’s back. Those were the seasons I found myself lost in when I had sudden insomnia or idle moments. The napoleon ice cream in my lap made it even better. With my first pregnancy I couldn’t get enough sleep, but this one was all different. I was not only in a different head space, but I was older and everything was different.
“Yo, you gotta start sleeping.” North’s voice broke my intense stare at the screen. My eyes traveled from the point of Shepherd's nose to North’s frame standing in the entryway of the movie room.
“I tried, but per usual it was a dead mission. I didn’t want to wake you with the TV and the light.”
He nodded and walked over to where I was. “You sure as hell didn’t want to wake me while you’re sitting right here with this big ass bowl of ice cream. Didn’t they ask you to lay off this shit?”
“Yes, they asked and I understood what they were saying, but they’re not here at night when I can’t sleep and I have the cravings.”
He laughed. “But it ain’t their baby. It’s mine and yours right?”
“If she keeps acting like this she’ll be yours.” I watched him lift the cover that I was currently lying under and climb under it himself. I sat up a little so that he could position himself behind me comfortably.
“Stop playing with my baby, she’s good.”
“Tuh hell. Speak for yourself. When it’s time for her to come out of here she has to go. There will be no extra time or anything of that nature. I am evicting her and you better not have anything to say about it.”
His hand landed right on my stomach as laughter spilled from his lips. He thought I was joking but I was for real. I had her eviction papers already drawn up in my mind. Shorty had to go.
“You like it here or do you wanna look for something else?”
“Why? This is big enough. I’m sure you can just give up that room you moved all of your things to.”
He nodded his head. “Or I could get the wall knocked in and have them do a real nursery after they finish Ssiah’s room.”
“If you feel that’s necessary then yeah it works out. Look at you already on your father's stuff making it happen for her.”
