I nodded. Then a silence enveloped us. “My sister said I don't know how to be alone. I'm inclined to believe her. I always find myself tangled up in fucked up situations when it comes to women.”
She nodded.
“I lowkey feel like thisstems from the fact that my moms didn't care enough to stick around when I was a youngin’.”
She pursed her lips. “How old were you when she left?”
“Probably seven or eight when I watched her load up her suitcase and other belongings in the back of a yellow taxicab. I never saw her again after that.”
She nodded, then scribbled something down on the clipboard in front of her.
“Do you think my problems stem from her, too?”
“Do you?” She answered a question with a question.
“I told you I did. It's like I keep finding myself thinking about all of it.”
“Do you and your sister have a good relationship?” She looked at me for an answer.
“Of course, that's my heart.”
“So, you value her opinion?”
“Yeah, she's who I talk to about all of this.” I responded confused by her line of questioning.
“Then why come here?”
“Because I thought I should. Plus she said, I have too many situations that keep arising from my issues with attachment.”
She nodded her head. “Issues like what?”
“For starters, I got a baby on the way by a broad that I used to think I loved.”
“Used to?”
“Yeah, used to. She left me and then thought that she could just come back into my life.”
Again, the doctor nodded. “So, she abandoned you?” It was more of a statement than a question.
“Yeah, you could say that.”
Once again, the doctor was nodding that big ass head of hers. It wasn't big in an unattractive way. It was big in a smart type of knowledge field way. “Just like your mother.”
Now it was my turn to nod. Maybe therapy wasn't that bad, but after two uninterrupted hours of having somebody pick through my brain, a nigga was tired. All that talking and no fucking had me ready to fuck a throat up. I also told my therapist that I’d cool it on the bitches, but at this point, Doc needed to realize that Rome wasn't built in a day.
Namari
Before I left the spot earlier, I watched Earl and Jackson dispose of old boy's body. Just like all the others, they burned him in an industrial sized pit that I kept in the back. Then I went about my day. I also needed to talk to my brother about what I knew. I already knew what he'd say, but that ship had sailed. I was on demon time and nothing could take me from that. None of his lectures would work this time, no matter what he said.
“So what do you plan to do with all the information that you've come across?” he asked.
“I want everybody's life who was present in that car.”
My brother nodded. “And how do you plan to do that without causing a beef in the streets?”
I laughed. “Starting a beef? A beef was already started when a nigga blew at me and hit my bitch. Fuck thestreet beef prevention, the shit has already begun. No, I didn't start it, but I was damn sure going to finish it.”
“I hear you. Believe me, I do. But what are you going to do, go shooting in the dark?”
