That was his favorite question these days.
A smile tugged at my lips. “No, I’m not. Would you stop asking me that?” He turned me around to face him.
“Then act like it.” Now he was smiling as his usually serious eyes focused on me.
The conversation almost took a physical turn, but Niema’s voice broke the moment that was on the verge of imploding.
“Ommy, you’re still taking me school shopping, right?”
I looked away from North toward Niema. “Yeah, what time do you want to go?”
“Um whenever you’re available. I don’t wanna take up all your time.”
“Damn, you give a fuck about her time, but never care about mine.” North narrowed his eyes in his sister’s direction.
I chuckled. “Whatever time is good for you. I need to get some things for Ssiah anyway. I’ve been slacking.” I shook my head at myself.
“Twelve?”
I nodded then looked at North who was now eating the breakfast plate I’d prepared for him this morning.
“Okay. I’ll be ready.” Seconds later she raced out of the kitchen leaving just me and her brother.
I watched him eat for a while longer before I went to his bedroom. Ever since everything happened with Surah, he insisted Ssiah and I stayed with him to give the city a break. I agreed, but the last thing I wanted was to crowd his space or get too comfortable in a space that wasn’t my own. Of course, that was me overthinking, but still North and I were in the fast lane. Our whole situation was in the fast lane, but that didn’t stop me from buckling up and enjoying the ride. This could end a few different ways, or as he said it wouldn’t end at all. Only time would tell.
“I’m trying to figure out how I thought I was spending my free day with your ass, and you make plans with my sister.” His voice announced his presence in the room.
I giggled. “You didn’t tell me that. Why don’t you come with us?”
“That was a given. Tonight though, I wanna sit down somewhere with you and me. I’ll pay Niema to keep Ssiah.”
I looked up from my phone and directly at him. “And what did you have in mind?”
“We gotta talk. You know, iron some shit out for our future.” His expression was serious.
I laughed because he put the emphasis onour.“And what do we need to iron out?”
“We’ll discuss that tonight.” He dove into the massive bed making sure to land directly in my space. With his back flatly against the bed he just peered up at me with so much that he wanted to say, but he didn’t. Here we were in that space again. It was once again overflowing with what neither of us said.
I just peered down at him wondering just when that space would disappear or if it would ever. He was guarded and so was I, but something in this had to give or it would never work.
It was the way he gazed back at me that had me stuck. “I want this and us. All of it and the whole nine. I know I fucked up and you have your guards up with a nigga. I also know I can’t walk around here and expect you to be over something that we never fully talked about.”
I nodded my head to let him know that I was all ears.
“My communication is fucked up and so is yours, but I need you to know that the things I’m not saying I’m trying to show. Words ain’t a niggas strong point but I swear to you I want this. That shit was Santi wasn’t planned out or even a full thought. She just showed up and it ain’t been nothing past that. I only want to be with you. I’m only tryna do that meet the parents’ thing with you.”
I just looked at him. “Are you sure about that?”
“Positive.”
I threw my head forward leaning down to kiss his forehead. “Then that’s all we need to talk about. However, I’m still taking you up on the night out though.”
He nodded his head. “You ain’t gonna get gone on me when shit gets tough are you?”
I peered down at him for a moment mulling over what I could say. “As long as we’re both in agreement that this is what we want then I’m not going anywhere.”
That big bright ass smile of his greeted me as the serious expression on his face disappeared. I don’t know how to explain it, it felt like something between us changed at that moment. Like maybe a brick had fallen from the wall between us. The entire wall hadn’t fallen yet, but Rome wasn’t built in a day. Good things took time, and I believed in that whole heartedly when it came to myself and North.
