Rowan’s brow furrowed. “Hold on. You’ve always been my friend, so don’t go getting spun up believing I befriended you to get us here. I did not.”
I believed him. There was never a moment we’d been together where I thought he was false or using me for his own gain. When I nodded, he continued.
“All I want is your happiness. If that means being with Caelan, I will accept your decision.”
I exhaled softly. “You really mean that, don’t you?”
Rowan rose and swayed. I snickered when he put his hand out to steady himself. “Mom and Hazel could be billionaires if they ever sold that stuff en mass.”
“I’ll get the drops.” He made his way over to the fridge and retrieved a small amber bottle. “You might want to bring some water to bed just in case we underdose ourselves. I’ve never taken this.”
Rowan dispensed a few drops into his mouth before handing me the bottle.
“My mom gave you an unmarked bottle full of liquid you’re supposed to consume and you just…took it?” I stared at him in disbelief.
He shrugged. “Cliona doesn’t seem like the poison type. Plus, I think she likes me better than Caelan.” With a wink, he tugged me from the seat and pulled me in for a hug.
I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head against his chest. His heartbeat was a comforting, rhythmic thud against my ear.
“Are you alright?”
I wasn’t. Not by a long shot. “It’s hard for me to believe everything was a lie.”
His arms tightened around me. “Because it wasn’t. Life is far more complicated than that. Caelan will never be a one-dimensional villain, Evie. He’s not a villain at all.”
I craned my head up and looked at him. “What the hell, Rowan? How are you so damned nice all the time?”
He booped my nose with a finger. “I’m nice to you. Not everyone. Caelan loves you. He has from almost the second he met you. There is a bond between you, but it is not a mating bond. He, like all shifters, has an animal side, and animals form strong bonds. Wolves gravitate toward power. His wolf approves of you and desires you to be with Caelan, but it’s the man who’s struggling with his doubts. Wolves do not think that far into thefuture. If your children turn out to be something other than wolf shifters, his animal will adapt. Caelan may not. This was never a question of him loving you. A blind man could see how he feels about you.”
He tilted my chin up. “The question is, does he love you enough? Does he love you like you need to be loved? When you see yourself twenty years in the future, is Caelan the one sitting beside you?”
I was a little drunk and a little emotional, but his words still sank into my bones. Two months ago, my answer would have been of course. There were times I was unsure, but I always managed to work through those. But now, seeing him again only saddened me. My heart hurt every time he looked at me because he didn’t look at me with love. He looked at me as if I belonged to him. And even now, when he obviously wanted me back, his words felt like knives against my skin.
“A man would be a fool not to want to know you. Does Caelan truly know who you are or does he only understand what drives you? A strategist knows the second. A man knows the first. There can be no doubts in your heart when you decide, Evie. You two are already on your way to something toxic, but there’s still time to right the boat.”
I slid my palms up Rowan’s chest and stood on my tiptoes, still unable to look him in the eye unless he looked down at me. Our eyes met. “Do you want me to right the boat?” I whispered.
A ring of gold appeared around his irises. “I see so much potential in you, Evie. You have the world in your hands. But you cannot rise and become who you’re meant to be while you harbor such serious doubts and mistrust. If you decide to trust Caelan, you must do so with your entire heart and soul.”
“You didn’t answer my question.” Our lips were so close I could kiss him. “Your answer was very fae-like.”
A smile curved his lips. “We have an early morning. Your father will be here to escort Moira to the other side, and you need to rebuild your magic. I’ll walk you to your room.”
I thought about pressing things, but there was a look in Rowan’s eyes that made me hesitate. Instead, I ran my fingers through his hair, scratching through his scalp. His eyes fluttered shut, a soft sigh parting his lips.
Leaning forward, I brushed a soft kiss over his lips and pulled away. “Good night, Rowan.”
His hands tightened on my waist as if he would ask me to stay. After a moment, he let go, a rueful smile on his face. “’Night, Evie.”
He did not walk me to my room.
Chapter
Twenty-One
MOIRA
Someone was in my bedroom. I reached under my pillow, flung the knife in the direction of the intruder, and rolled off the edge of the bed on the opposite side.
