“I’m more than allowed to sleep with my future wife.”
When he leans in to kiss me goodbye, I stiffen.
I should tell him now that I have no intention of marrying him. I should end it right here, before we’re any further into thismess. But when I try to form the words, I can’t make my throat work.
“I’ll see you soon,” he says. “I love you, Lyria.”
My heart feels leaden. “I love you, too.”
I think I’ve figured out what I really want.
I want to hide. Run away from it all. I want to lie here in this bed, under the covers, and not face any consequences. I nearly do just that, since Finn offered me breakfast in bed and the prospect of remaining here in isolation is more than tempting, but I’m on a countdown. There’s only so long I can postpone reality. I dress and slip from his chamber. To my distinct mortification, there are four guards outside Finn’s door, including Roburn.
“Morning,” I mumble.
“Good morning. I hope you slept well,” Roburn says, his brow furrowing as I pass. I’m surprised when I hear his footsteps trailing me a few minutes later. “Lyria, could I speak with you for a moment?”
“Yes?”
Roburn catches up with me in an empty hallway, stopping a distance away. “I just wanted to confirm…That is to say…” He clears his throat. “Prince Finneas has been under my training for most of his life. I would hope that he’s conducted himself with honor, but if he hasn’t, if there’s been any indiscretion…I would hope you know you have an ally at court, should you need one.”
My chest warms. “I haven’t been mistreated. But I appreciate it, Captain. Thank you.”
As I hurry through the castle, I find the mess considerably reduced. Servants must have been cleaning all night. Muchof the debris has been cleared. There are already teams of craftsmen hanging new panels of glass. I’m not sure how I feel about the world being put back into order—not when I’m so personally undone.
My feet steer me toward the East Wing. Walking through the doors is a stark reminder of all that’s happened: the overflowing beds, the nurses and Healers still rushing around. I see a pair of laborers hauling a stretcher covered with a white sheet. My stomach flips.
There’s pain all around me. My Talent aches under my skin, but I push down the sensation. I’ve dealt with so much worse. I’m intent on my mission now, seeking a particular face among the crowd. Finn may have only delayed my departure, but at least he gave me a chance to say goodbye to Cygnus.
I don’t spot Cygnus anywhere on the staging floor or in either of the overflow chambers. So I finally head for his office, but find the door closed.
I pause outside, just before turning the handle. Staring at the ring. It’s still on my finger. I can’t bring myself to take it off.
I push open the door.
It’s dark. Cygnus is sleeping hunched over his desk. When I close the door behind me and the latch clicks, he lifts his head wearily. “Anna?”
“Just me.”
“Oh.” He knuckles his eyes, wiping away the sleep. “What time is it?”
“Dawn-ish.”
“Very specific.” He stretches, rising. “You should know that Sebastian is set to make a full recovery.”
“When did you fall asleep?” I ask.
“Four-ish.”
I was planning to ask Cygnus if Daisy gave him the omnidraught and my notes, but I am too distracted by theguilt that plunges through me at the sight of his exhaustion. Suddenly, I don’t know what I’m doing here. I don’t know how to tell him of my cowardice.
“You should rest,” I finally say.
“Maybe.” Cygnus looks around, pulling on his Healer’s coat. Then he seems to remember that I’m here. “Did you need something?”
“No,” I say quickly. “Just checking on you.”
“Oh. Well, thanks,” he says gruffly. “If you don’t mind…”
