“You should go,” I say, as soon as I can muster the courage.
“Is that what you want?” His eyes flash. There might be hurt there.
I nod forcefully.
Cygnus pauses. I suspect that he’s about to counter with something clever, a quick strike, but he doesn’t argue. Cygnus just stands up and leaves, without acknowledging Finn.
I’m left feeling oddly empty. Finn moves in to take Cygnus’s chair immediately after he’s gone.
“Can I help?” he asks.
I shake my head, closing my eyes. I’m battling not to get swept away by the insistent pull of Sebastian’s last thread. It seems so much easier to let go.
Finn reaches for my hand. “Please, Lyria. Let me help.”
“Stay,”I find myself telling him.
I open my eyes and find his green ones gazing back at me. They’re alight with emotion: terror and desperation and hope. How can someone look so beautiful while suffering?
“Don’t let go,” I say softly. “Please.”
That’s all I’ll give him. The only weakness I’ll admit. I need Finn right now more than I need air. I need him to keep gripping my hand, to remind me there is someone anchoring me to this world. If I can just hold on to him, I can keep Sebastian tethered, too.
Together, we make it through the long night.
t takes Sebastian two full days to stabilize.
Finn is summoned by the queen around dusk on the second day. After some back-and-forth with the insistent guards, he obeys, but not before swearing to find me after attending to his duties. There’s no chance for us to speak privately about what’s transpired. Maybe that’s fortunate. I don’t know how I’d start to explain.
By the end of it, I’m a husk of myself. When I try to rise, my legs wobble traitorously beneath me.
The captain, who has remained a watchful presence since Finn left, surges forward to help. “Let me escort you to your room,” Roburn offers.
“I’m fine,” I mumble, forcing myself to take a few steps. “I just need to sleep.”
“I insist,” he says.
I catch myself on the doorframe, debating. I feel dangerously close to collapsing. “Fine.”
Roburn lends me his arm. I use the dregs of my willpower to stay upright as he leads me into the hall.
It’s quickly clear that trying to get back myself would have been a bad idea. I’m stumbling as the captain leads me toward my room, sheepishly grateful as he supports most of my weight.
I can’t process the wreckage that we pass. There’s glass and debris everywhere. Ash covers everything. People mill about, mostly servants and commoners, scrubbing blood and carrying bodies. Cleaning up.
It can’t have been only days ago that we were dancing. I’ve aged a decade since then.
Roburn leaves me after promising to send servants with water and food. I think I thank him for the kindness, but I can’t be sure. My head feels stuffed with cotton.
I should run. I should get out of the palace as soon as possible. Finn saw my Talent. He might not have reacted during a moment of crisis, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t preparing a cell for me now.
But there’s no time for worries before I collapse into a dreamless sleep.
When I wake, the light beyond my window is flat and gray.
I lie in silence for a long time. I know what I’ve done, and yet I can’t quite comprehend it. I don’t regret saving Sebastian. I’m just scared. I let the terror burn through me, let it sear and kill everything. I imagine all the ways they could punish me, all thethings they could do, bracing for the worst. My ears strain for the clatter of footsteps. At any moment, the Frumentari should be coming to arrest me.
But no one comes.
