“No! I don’t hate her,” I insist quickly. “She just…you know. She’s so…” I gesture.
Cygnus smiles, returning to his reading. “She’s lovely, once you get to know her.”
I huff, crossing my arms. “Yeah? You two seem friendly.”
Cygnus is suddenly quite intent on picking a piece of lint off his Healer’s uniform. “Sandria’s been at court since we were kids. Her parents sent her here as a political move when their conflict started with Verdinae. We practically grew up together.”
For some reason, these words make a lump stick in my throat. I’m imagining Cygnus and Sandria as children with Finn and his brothers, all running around in a gleeful game of tag. Odessa is there, too, even though I know that’s an anachronism.Plus, Sandria doesn’t even seem friendly with the Thornes. None of that eases the longing at this daydream’s core.
“Nothing ever happened,” says Cygnus abruptly.
“Huh?” I ask, broken out of my thoughts.
He’s clearly embarrassed. “I know what you’re thinking. Just to set the record straight, we never did anything like that.”
“Like what?” I ask, feigning innocence.
“Stop it. It’s not funny.”
I grin wickedly. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“It’s not like that!”
I laugh, raising my hands in mock surrender. “Look, whatever you and Sandria do is none of my business. But you’re being awfully defensive about something that apparently never happened.”
“I’ve got work to get back to.” Cygnus sweeps to his feet and energetically gathers his books. “If you figure something out, let me know, all right? I’ll keep reading in the meantime.”
I start laughing again. It feels pretty damn good to have him be the one squirming for once. “Your secret is safe with me.”
“Thereisno secret!”
“Whatever you say.”
I can’t resist grinning as he stomps away.
invite Daisy to join me in Easton. My invitation has two purposes.
One, to make up for being a bad friend—I am very aware that between the time I’ve spent working on the omnidraught and searching for an answer for the first gate, I haven’t had much time to hang out with her.
Two, to provide a barrier between Sandria and me for the weekend. Daisy is elated to be invited. Apparently, Sebastian’s name day is known to be quite the event, and all the court is expected to attend. Her agreeability helps temper some of my dread. I don’t know how I am going to face Finn, who I am sure will be there. Much less Odessa or the Ursandorn princess.
I expect Sandria to be joined by a host of ladies-in-waiting, but when Daisy and I arrive at the forecourt, it’s just her and two young cousins, who are apparently visiting for the weekend. The girls look about ten and share her thick black hair. All three are in traveling dresses with long, billowing sleeves and the open necklines I’ve come to expect from Ursandorn fashion. Sandria introduces them with their titles, and I immediately forget both names.
We board the carriage, which could easily accommodate twice as many ladies. Sandria orders the footmen to open the curtains so we get a cool cross-breeze and can see the landscape as we pass on our rumbling journey eastward.
As we travel, Daisy interrogates the princess. She wants to know everything about her life: the courtiers, the fashions, the cuisines. “Is it true that the princess of Dasken only eats green or purple food? Is Codswallow as nice as they say it is this time of year? Do you have any dresses from the West? How many?”
Sandria humors her, while I tune out the conversation. I commend Daisy’s enthusiasm. Small talk is beyond me at the moment. Like the younger girls, I gaze out the window toward the verdant landscape rolling past, thinking about locks and gates. My emotions are a tangled mess, with Finn at the center.
Tonight will bring me face-to-face with him for the first time since the incident with Cygnus. I thought space would help me sort out my feelings, but I still have no idea what to expect from our reunion. He might give me the cold shoulder again.Imight not want to speak to him at all. I keep mentally writing and rewriting speeches, but no words seem sufficient for the complexity I’m navigating.
Here are the facts I cannot escape: Finn fights for Verdinae. His father’s empire seeks to obliterate Elves and magic from this world, and that very same magic is inexorably bound to my blood. Onlyoneof those facts is mutable. I can’t reversethe proliferation of Verdish ideology any more than I can split my Talent from my soul. The only thing I might be able to change is Finn’s heart. But is that a lost cause already? He told me that he doesn’t subscribe to Verdish ideology about magic and Elves. How can that be true if he’s actively working for the Frumentari? The idea of Finn raising a blade toward my people should curdle any foolish feelings I’ve been harboring toward the prince. I don’t know why it doesn’t. I can’t fathom why, deep down, I’m still fighting for us. With duty and blood and propriety stacked against us, is there any future to fight for?
I thought I knew him. In the Ironwoods, I saw Finn as brave and compassionate—someone who’d act fearlessly to protect me, someone who spoke openly of his hatred toward Rodrick. Somewhere between the cottage and the castle, I convinced myself we shared a disdain for imperialism, that Finn was my ally, not my enemy. But everything since has painted the opposite picture.
Despite what he claims his personal beliefs to be, he enforces his father’s will without question. Rodrick dangles the heirship like a bone before a hungry dog, and that’s exactly what Finn has become: Verdinae’s bloodhound. Someone who would idly stand witness to harm, who has to be convinced of his power to enact change. Each time “duties” draw him away from the castle, is he really just killing on the empire’s behalf? How much Elven blood is on his hands? And if he knew what I was, would he kill me? I can’t picture him as a ruthless imperial soldier. When I try, the only image I can summon is of him sleeping in the cottage. Peaceful and innocent. The stranger I rescued. The boy who saved me from isolation.
There’s one detail of his story I keep returning to now that I know about the Frumentari, a barbed and persistent thought. Finn said they were looking for a source in Belrick, someonewith information about the Elven strongholds. Belrick isn’t far from the location of the quarantine zone.
