“Oh, yes he does.” I picture his disdainful expression. “Or at least he doesn’t think I have what it takes. He actually made it pretty clear he doesn’t want me here at all.”
“Don’t listen to him. It’s all bluster—probably some unhinged psychological tactic he learned at school. Ever since he came back from Belshire, he thinks he hangs the moon.”
I frown, imagining younger Cygnus seated in a lecture hall. Belshire is the most prestigious school in Sontaag, where I hoped to one day complete my education if Mother would ever allow it. The fact that Cygnus got to study there while I was stuck in the Ironwoods feels like a crime against justice.
“Why is he even in charge?” I ask. “He’s awful.”
“Because he’s a damn good Healer,” Daisy says matter-of-factly. “Before Cygnus got involved with the East Wing, things were a mess. Ask anyone who was around then. Back then, the hospital just treated the royals and guests. He got in here and completely turned things around, so they promoted him right tothe top. The queenloveshim. She’ll give him anything he wants. That’s the reason we treat the common folk. Cygnus was the one who pushed for it.”
I don’t like how this information opposes the impression I’ve formed of the Head Healer. Something churns in my chest—guilt, maybe? I don’t need Cygnus to give me reasons to like him.
“But he’s so…” I do a rude impression of his posture.
“He’s a genius. That’s just how they are, I suppose.” She shrugs.
As we clean, Daisy chatters on and on. I find her unnerving at first but gradually grow to appreciate her chipper attitude. I don’t have to interject much and can mostly just listen. She tells me her whole life story. I learn that she loves fashion and dreamed of making gowns for noblewomen but was the only one in a big family with the grades for the Royal Nursing Academy.
“I still like it here,” she says. “My sisters are all sweating in a kitchen somewhere, while I get to be in the heart of the city. How did you end up in the castle?”
I open my mouth, then shut it again.What if she forms the same impression of me as Cygnus did?I’m reluctant to admit I was summoned after a chance encounter with Finn. The story might trigger dangerous questions, and I don’t need anyone scrutinizing his recovery too closely. But being surrounded by people while having no one to confide in feels even worse than total isolation, somehow.
In the end, I tell her almost everything. Daisy is wide-eyed as I describe healing Finn after the Moragorion—omitting, of course, the magical details—and his subsequent skirmish with the mercenaries. I describe my first encounter with the queen and explain that she’s tasked me with an important classified project. To my relief, Daisy doesn’t press for details about theassignment. She’s much more interested in my relationship with Finn, even when I explain I haven’t seen him since my arrival.
“I mean, I’ve heard that about Prince Finneas,” Daisy admits, her cheeks turning rosy.
“What do you mean?”
“Well…he’s got a reputation. If you know what I mean.”
I don’t. “What kind of a reputation?”
She swallows. “I would never say anything to disrespect the Crown, of course…but, y’know, the princes all have very distinct personalities. Different strengths and weaknesses. Like, Sebastian’s the best scholar, and he’s always been so focused. He got engaged to Prince Roman atsixteen, which everyone was thrilled about, because it sealed the alliance with Sulnik…but I don’t think he ever even courted anyone else. And Damien’s the best fighter, everybody knows that. King Rodrick had to ban him from tournaments because he kept accidentally killing our allies. But Finneas…”
“He’s the fun one,” I complete, with my stomach sinking.Didn’t he tell you himself ?
“Yeah. I suppose so.” Daisy nods a little, looking uncomfortable. “At least, that’s what I’ve heard from the other nurses…and the maids…and the scullery.”
I can hear the subtext in her words, echoing Cygnus.He likes to play with his girls and then drop them.The mental picture of Finn in another girl’s arms makes me nauseous.
“I’m not saying that means he’s off with a girl somewhere,” Daisy says quickly.
“Right.” My ears burn.
“I’m serious, Lyria. The fact that he brought you all the way here means you’re obviously special to him.”
I think of Finn’s letter. I’ve spent a week and a half puzzling over the meaning of the worddazzled.
Forgive me for leaving without confessing my feelings, he’d written. Butwhatfeelings could he mean? Gratitude for saving his life? Relief that I might be able to stop the plague?
And if I really am so special, why isn’t hehere?
“He’s given me no reason to believe that,” I insist. But I’m flooded with memories of the cottage. Every tactile detail is burned into my brain: the rough warmth of his hands, the hard lines of his body against mine, the smell of his skin, like sun warming rocks after rain.
Daisy looks unconvinced. “Whatever you say.”
fter our conversation, I resolve to put Finn out of my mind.
What Daisy shared about his reputation has confirmed my worst suspicions.He’s not here because he doesn’t care.The most likely explanation for Finn’s absence is that he’s off on a lark, surrounded by beautiful women with fascinating stories about their adventurous lives.
