For the first time all night, my tension eases.
“Hey, Beck.” Gracie twists her entire body my way and looks at me, her eyes searching.
“Yeah?”
“Remember how you were telling me about that job offer you got, a couple of months ago, at that small environmental science firm. You know, the one in midtown Manhattan?”
“Yeah?”
“So?” she presses. “What’d you decide?”
We’d talked about it months ago. About how Manhattan would put us an eight-minute cab ride apart. How easy it would be to see each other. That was before Brandon. Before rings and plans and futures I wasn’t part of.
Now Brandon’s gone, and I don’t know what that means. If it changes anything at all.
Probably not.
Most likely, we’ll stay like this, circling each other until Gracie finally steps into her real life. The one without me.
Maybe I should leave first.
Spare myself the pain.
It’s a selfish thought, but not a stupid one.
“I got two offers,” I say finally. “That New York job offer and another one, here in Boston.”
Gracie blinks at that. “Which did you choose?”
“Neither. They gave me time.”
Her brow furrows. “What’s going to decide it?”
You.
I don’t say it. Instead I shrug. “I don’t know. Money. Retirement.”
“Retirement?”
“The Boston job has a good 401K, with matching.”
Beside me, Trish giggles. I flinch. I’d almost forgotten she was there. “I have no idea what any of that means.” She hiccups, then, being bolder, slides her hand up my leg. “Maybe you could teach me.”
My stomach drops.
Gracie’s gaze snaps to Trish’s hand. Horror flashes across her face, mirroring exactly how I feel. Even Kirsten looks appalled.
“Stop manhandling him,” Gracie says sharply, knocking Trish’s hand away.
Trish gasps like she’s been wounded. “What’s your problem, Gracie? You said you didn’t want him. I asked.”
The words hit like a gunshot to my chest, shredding every vital organ.
Gracie’s face drains of color. “What? No, I—um…”
I’m already standing, mumbling, “I gotta go.”
Pushing past the booth. Past Gracie and Kirsten. Past the night I let myself believe, just for a second, that something might be different.
