“I’m glad you’re here,” I said, then quietly went back to making breakfast.
“Are you sure you want me to stay?”
The question was loaded.I looked him in the eye.“Yes.I want you to stay.”
“You wouldn’t rather be alone with him?”
I’d come to my senses.The passion attack was over.I could think clearly again.“No.Stay, Cooper.”I looked down at the bacon I was trying to separate.“I don’t want to become involved with Peter, but it’s like there’s a force that pulls us together.At the height of the pull, I’m someone else.All the rest of the time, I’m me.It’s … disturbing.”
Cooper was silent for a minute.“Then take it slow.”
“Fine for you to say.Ever tried to stop a wave from breaking?”I eyed him beseechfully.“How do I do it, Cooper?How do I stop it?”
“Do you really want to?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s pointless.It has nowhere to go.I don’t have room for a man like that in my life.”
“Come on, Jill.”
“I don’t!”
“You have room.You could make room.”
He was serious.I couldn’t help but be reminded of the comment he’d made the afternoon before about my buying a condo in the city with the money I was willing to spend on legal fees.“It’s time,” he’d said, and he was serious then, too.He’d never said anything like that to me before.I wondered whether the change had something to do with the smuggling business, and, if so, what.
“If I didn’t know better,” I said, “I’d think that you were encouraging me.”
“I think you should follow your instincts.”
“But what about Adam?”
“What about him?”
“I loved him.”
“I know you did.But he’s dead.You won’t be breaking any rules by enjoying Peter.”
“Youareencouraging me.”
He repeated that small semi-shrug.“You could do with a good tumble.”
“Cooper—”
“I’ll stay for breakfast, Jill.And I’ll stick around after that if you want me to.But I can’t stay forever.If it isn’t Peter, it’ll be another guy someday.You weren’t meant to be a widow forever.You’re a beautiful person.You deserve more than that.”
As I studied Cooper in the aftermath of his words, I wondered—and not for the first time—why he and I had never become more deeply involved.I supposed that Adam would always come between us, but there was more to it than that.Something was missing.The spark wasn’t there.Thank heavens it was mutual, or our friendship would never have worked.I cherished that friendship.
“Just stick around,” I whispered through a tight throat and went at the bacon again.Beside me, Cooper put a fresh pot of coffee on to brew.We worked in a companionable silence for a time until Peter joined us.Then preparation for Cooper’s case began in earnest.
The rest of the weekend was dominated bythat case.I wasn’t sure whether Peter was compensating for having been caught fooling around, or whether he was that dedicated to the law.I didn’t think it was that he’d lost interest in me, because though he didn’t try to kiss me again, the awareness remained.It was there each time his eyes lit on mine, whether he was reviewing facts with Cooper in my kitchen, or talking with the townsfolk in their homes, in the back room of the grocery store or in Sam’s Saloon.
Still, he didn’t try to kiss me again.
Saturday night he stayed downstairs reading long after I’d gone up to bed.Sunday morning he slept late again, but when I knocked on his door at the appointed hour of eleven, he awakened quickly.Not long after that he came downstairs for breakfast newly showered and looking ruggedly handsome in his limb-loving jeans and sweatshirt.I was surprised that he hadn’t brought down his bag.I had expected him to leave that day to drive back to New York, but it seemed that he planned to spend the entire first half of the week with us.
