Her face buried in the warm crook of his neck, she whispered his name over and over again. Her arms, too, had taken on a strength that denied passion’s drain, and she held him with no intention of ever letting go. “I’m sorry” came her muffled cry. “I shouldn’t have suggested those awful things.”
“No, it’s good you did. You were right. They had to come out in the open.” He tipped her head back and looked into her eyes. “We need the truth, sweetheart. Both of us. There are so many things we can’t figure out, but the situation becomes only more complicated if we can’t be honest about ourselves and our feelings.” With one arm supporting her back, he gently smoothed damp tendrils of hair from her cheeks. “I have insecurities. Lots of them. They hit me like a ton of bricks when I first met you, and they’ve kept me a little off balance ever since.”
“You didn’t need to worry aboutanything!”
“But I did. At the start I worried that you’d associate me only with Brad and that you’d transfer the rift between you and him to me. I worried that you’d turn down your nose at my occupation, that you’d categorize me and put me in a slot and wouldn’t like the things I suggested we do. Then, when I began to realize how I felt about you, I was afraid you wouldn’t feel the same.” He slid his cheek against her temple. “And all the time I was worried about what was happening to you. I imagined Hawkins might be behind it, and I was reluctant to tell you the truth. Maybe I wouldn’t be able to protect you or catch the bastard before he really hurt you.”
“You’ll be dead long before I will if you keep up that worrying,” Lauren quipped softly, “andthenwhere will I be?”
“Do you love me?”
“I do love you.”
“And you’re not bothered by who I am and where I come from?”
“Only that you come from the opposite coast, and that’s much too far away.”
A tremor shot through his body and he gave her a bone-crushing squeeze. “God, you’re wonderful. You’re beautiful and bright and warm and giving. What did I ever do to deserve you?”
Lauren was thinking the very same thing, but with the pronouns reversed. “I love you,” she whispered. She’d never tire of telling him so, and with that knowledge and the intimate closeness of his body, her insides began to quiver. She tightened her lower muscles and was rewarded by the faint catch in Matt’s breath; then, as he grew inside her, she began to move.
It was much, much later, after they’d finally sought out her bed, that she turned in his arms. “Matt?”
His eyes were closed. She was wondering if he was asleep when she heard his low “Hmm?”
“Do you realize what we did?”
He shifted his hips and smiled smugly. “Mmm-hmm.”
“But without anything.” After that first night, Matt had taken the responsibility of protecting her. “Aren’t you worried?”
“You told me to stop worrying.”
“But if we make a baby …”
His eyes opened slowly, but the smugness remained on his face. “If we make a baby, we’ll have it. It’ll be beautiful and bright and healthy.”
“But the planning, the logistics …”
The light in his eyes grew brighter. “I love you, Lauren. If a baby comes out of that love, I think I’d be the happiest man alive.”
With a soft sigh of elation, she nestled more snugly against him. “Oh, Matt, I love you so.” Basking in a special glow, lulled by the strong and steady beat of his heart, she fell into a deep and untroubled sleep.
Come morning, Lauren and Matt awoke together, showered together, dressed together, cooked and ate breakfast together. Neither seemed to tire of touching the other, or smiling, or whispering those three precious words.
It was only when they were getting ready to drive into Boston that Lauren permitted herself to think beyond the fact of their newly shared love. Matt sat sideways on the sofa, sorting through papers in his briefcase. Curling an arm around his neck, she slid onto his lap.
“We can’t go to the police,” she began quietly. “You’re right. If they start looking into things and somehow come upon Brad’s dealings, his memory will be sullied. I’m not sure my parents would care, but I would. So that leaves us back where we began. What should we do?”
Matt finished straightening a pile of letters, set them in the briefcase and snapped it shut. “I think maybe it’s time to call in some help. Not the police—someone private.” He slipped an arm around her waist. “That way we can control what comes out. Hawkins may be behind this, or it may be someone totally unrelated to him.”
“In which case the motive is still a mystery.”
“We need a fresh ear, someone who might ask questions we haven’t thought of or see things from a new angle.” He paused. “Should I get a name and make a call?’
“Yes. We have to do something. I don’t want to live with a shadow hanging over me, especially not now.”
Matt was in total agreement. Through one of the corporate powers he’d been dealing with in Boston, he contacted a reputable private investigator by the name of Phillip Huber and set up a meeting for the following morning. In the meantime, he stayed as close to Lauren as he could, returning to the shop between business meetings of his own, taking her to lunch, then dinner. When they finally arrived back in Lincoln, it was late. Given the minimum of sleep each had had—not to mention the strain of jet travel on Matt, about which Lauren teased him unmercifully—they were both tired.
