“She won’t.”
“Why not?”
“She needs you.”
My phone screen lit.Barely,I read.
“Grace,” I told Edward and texted,Is Chris okay?
Contrite,she replied, but made no comment about my past, which she certainly would have, if Chris had told her.Suddenly gets it. Realizes what a big deal this is. Did it takePeopleto convince him?
Possibly, I thought, though I wondered whether my confession had played even a small role. That would be redeeming.
How are YOU?I asked.
Nervous.Hiding.Angry at the kid.
I didn’t respond. I got the nervous and hiding part, but the angry-at-the-kid part hit too close to home.
“They say a mother’s love is unconditional,” I said aloud, “but which is more abiding—a mother’s love or a child’s need for it?”
Edward was quiet at first. “You do need her love.”
“But does she love me?”
“She’s your mother.”
“It’s been four years. I’ve reached out. She doesn’t respond.”
“Emotions are complex.”
“That’s my point. Can she love me even if she can’t forgive me?”
It was a minute before he said, “Can you love anyone, if you can’t forgive yourself?”
The message was for me, but I wasn’t there yet. “What if she tells me to leave?”
“I’ll talk with her.”
“She hates you.”
His smile was crooked. “True. So maybe I need to be doing this, too.”
But I wasn’t there yet, either. “If she doesn’t want me in her house, what can Idofor her?”
“Make lunch.”
That raised a whole other issue. “Annika said the church brought food, but how do I know it’s still fresh? I should be bringing food myself. That’s what a good daughter would do.”
“A good daughter would wait and see what she has and what she wants. I can always make a supermarket run.”
Nowtherewas a distraction. Edward and I used to food shop together when we first met, not so much once we were married. My career had always been more forgiving than his, even after Lily was born.
“Well, yeah, that’s another thing I did wrong,” Edward said when his offer hung in their air. “I could’ve helped more. I’ve gotten pretty good at it since then. Necessity is the mother, and all.”
“I would’ve thought you’d order online and have it delivered.”
“Sometimes I did.”
